many people fail to see the...attractiveness of fanfiction. to them, its just "oh the story's over, life goes on". but for the truly hardcore, it doesnt just stop there. sometimes you dont like the ending, and you decide to rewrite it. or you wanna see more fluff between your fave pairing, which may or may not in the story. or maybe youre just horny and you like to read lemons. i dont know, its up to you.

sometimes the fanfics that people write satisfy you inside. or maybe mirrors your lifestyle. for the truly great writer, writing an epic that is believable, that people like, is equivalent to a totally new story in itself. suffice it to say, that many people cannot do it.

i admit it. i love the pairing of seiftis (seifer/quistis, FF8) and alnel (albel/nel, star ocean 3). lately, due to the fact that a ton of people are on holiday and msn is practically empty as it is, i indulge in much fanfic reading, especially if the main pairing is seiftis or alnel.

it really warms my heart when i read alnel, due to the fact that its quite similar to seiftis. both of them technically start out hating each other and random authors manipulate them to fall in love and stuff like that. plus the fact that the female leads (quis, nel) are actually poor lonely souls. and the male leads (seifer, albel) are badasses.

oh baby, my fave pairings are so darn similar, never realized it before. heh.

why do i read fanfiction? (sugarcoated version)
when i read fanfiction, it draws me into a totally new world, one in which its just me and the story, and i can laugh, cry, fluff up, whatever i want. for that moment, i have escaped from the real world, and into a world of pure fantasy. (and believe me, some stories can be as tearjerker as titanic itself.)

why do i read fanfiction? (real version)
cuz im an idealistic kid who desperately wants to believe in the idea of true love. and also cuz of escapism reasons. hoho.

my personal recommendations:-
SEIFTIS!
-Fire and Ice by altol.
this will make you cry. (especially chapter 27.) i recommend this for everyone, whether you like seiftis or not, and whether you even play ff8 or not. heck i would even recommend playing or reading up on ff8 just to understand this fic. THE BEST. (ultimately its a happy ending though)
-Fifty Days by Pierson
quistis dies in this one. its sweet and utterly romantic, compared to the rollercoaster ride in fire and ice. everything goes quite smoothly in this one, only bad thing is the sad ending.
-Requiem For An Eternal Soldier by Alonia Everclear (soldier is spelt as solider on ffn though)
seifer dies in this one. 'nuff said. in the end they have twins though.
-A Second Chance by Sickness In Salvation
this is a really long story. trust me when i say this. its quite good, but horribly long. read only if you have an entire day to waste.

yeah in my personal opinion, these are the reallyreally good seiftises out there. and theyre all at least 22 chapters, heh. IF YOU ARE A SEIFTIS FAN AND YOU HAVENT READ FIRE AND ICE, SHAME ON YOU, YOU HEAR? SHAME ON YOU! every single seiftis fan loves fire and ice, trust me when i say this. altol, you are a writing goddess.

ALNEL!
-All in All by Blue Persuasion
i dont usually do songfics, but this is a REALLY REALLy good one. the imagery is superb, and it almost made me cry.
-If only by Mizura
takes place during the game. fluff included. lots of it.
-Just Time by Mizura
a SEQUEL! *gasps* OMFG! yes its the sequel to If only. *clutches heart* fluff is always good for you, okay? but the fluff here is meaningful fluff, not stupid fluff. i do not like stupid fluff. stupid fluff is OOC behaviour, when the two kiss cuz the author wants them to. meaningful fluff is when they actually have a REAL REASON to kiss. yes.
-My Big Fat Aquois Wedding by Nicolle (aquois is spelt aqiuos in the fic.)
whoot. finally a funny fic! with fluff intermixed. nel and albel are in an arranged marriage, thanks to their respective royalties. moves quite smoothly. this is quite good. =)

thank you to http://fanfiction.net for occupying my hours, and just being a friend to me when i was all alone at home. thanks to the fanfiction's respective authors, you all truly have a gift for writing, do write more.

all my love, tiff.

nationals are four months away. i feel horribly weak and useless. is this what "having a sense of urgency" does to you? give you low self esteem and confidence?

all i think about during training is how i can make my k2 go faster in the 500m. i quite thank God for giving me the chance to do 500m instead of 1000m cuz to be frank, im quite pissed at long distance already. anyways, all i can say, is that due to the fact that i am horribly weak and useless, all i can do is increase my arm strength and refine my technique, which is what i WILL be doing in those four months. along with praying, of course. a LOT of praying.

endurance phase. im supposed to feel pain. ho hum. pain is my friend indeed.

just realized, out of all my songs, my mom especially hates mr brightside, cuz she thinks its "damn noisy". i can think of a million songs more noisy that that, but oh well, thats my mom for you. (how did i change the subject again? ahahaa.)

well,i guess theres an upside to feeling pain on a regular basis. there is no need for me to go emo and start punching walls like i used to. instead i can just go a) do a million hindu pushups and die a terrible death pouring sweat on the reebok exercise mat (for the record, im already dying just doing 20 of those hindu pushups. trust me, theyre a lot harder than the usual pushups.) or b) hang on the pullup bar til i get horrible blisters and poke them and thus i will be feeling even more pain when i grip my bloody paddle during the next training and especially so when the water hits the wound.

i am currently most emo right now. i blame it on PMS. thats why im trying ways to hurt myself during training. ahahaa. easiest: strain a muscle. hohohohohoho. or train til you faint! thats my personal fave. never tried it before though. huh.

oh wowie. i dunno. next training's on saturday, the CIP crap, see you there, chia, yw, ele.

*tim and i are in front of our pull up bar*
tim: okay, do 2 sets of 5 pull ups.
me: but i cant do a single pullup!
tim: oh dont worry, by time im done with you, you will be able to do a pullup...
me: er. okay.
tim: anyway dont worry la, i'll help you get up.
*with tim's help, tiff manages to fight her way through 2 pullups*
tim: okay...2 sets of 2 then.
*2 sets are finally over. and thank goodness too.*

but i digress. due to the fact that i asked my brother to help me draw up a self training program, i have now signed myself up for torture. and no sprite too, while im at it. or coke lime. or any carbonated shit.

hell, i cant even have prata. (or so the seniors say)

but now, i realize how darn weak i am. i cant even do 10 Hindu pushups without half dying. and for the record, the Hindu wrestlers of long ago were probably real sadists to think up of such a pushup.

but hey i shouldnt complain, its good for me.

but anyway, i have finally drawn up a training regimen, for both training and non training days. of course i do more during the non training days. heh.

after all, nationals are in 4 months, if i dont start pushing now, when school starts im prolly gonna die. haha.

wish me luck.

i just suddenly decided to download konstantine by something corporate. its one of those sudden revelations that you get that you decide to act on.

my take on it: if you like soft background music playing while the main guy sings, then its for you i guess. this is good for the emo people, cuz this song is wonderfully/horribly emo. even if you werent already emo, you feel emo after listening to it. >_> but you do feel the guy's emotion when he sings. perhaps this is one of those songs that is based on a real life experience.

its to dying in another's arms and why i had to try it

not surprised ele babe likes it. its right up her alley. ahaha.

feeling horribly sad right now, thanks to konstantine. its like the events of the last few weeks are finally catching up to me, and that im finally really feeling the WHAM. im leaving dhs, leaving 2k, leaving all my friends, leaving the world ive known as a GEP for 5 years.

and im scared. i cant hide it. im scared and worried and totally freaked about it.

you'll always be my konstantine.

three more weeks til the holidays are over. im already feeling burnt out. and thats saying something since all i have been doing is playing suikoden iv and training. and shopping. it seems like the ideal lifestyle, but lazing about all day is kinda...tiring.

its like i wanna get up and do something with my time and energy. which is why im so happy whenever there is training cuz a) i can actually do something, get out of the house and b) mom wont set me any stupid chores to do. like wash the toilet. or clean my room. or whatever.

anyways, ive kinda found out the way to do something i really dont wanna do. like running. i still remember the other day when we ran like 7km, and it seemed to last forever since we were running in bloody circles (69 rounds according to siyi). plus i had a stitch. the bane of all runners. it was just like one of bball's nightmare runs. just a hell lot longer. lasted approximately 55 minutes.

well. there are two ways, according to a book i was reading. ("angry white pyjamas". its one of those aikido books my brother has.) a) detachment or b) distraction.

a) is the preferred Eastern way. thats when even youre in pain, you internalize it and dont think about it. you detach yourself from it. its like theres a wall between you and the pain. b) is the preferred Western way. its when you distract yourself from the pain, by yelling and screaming and shouting.

i personally have tried both approaches. a) is tried most often during stick training. you try lifting up your arms and doing strokes for 10mins. seems like a bloody lifetime. reminds me of the song "a lifetime" by better than ezra.

three and a half minutes...felt like a lifetime.
AND BLOODY RIGHT TOO. seniors call out "5 minutes!" and youre thinking "oh god, only?" this is when pure hard discipline comes in and you struggle to keep the strokes going.

b) was tried during regatta. rowing a dragonboat at almost full power is well. painful. and since everyone is screaming and shouting stuff like "come on, nj!" and stuff like that, you thus have the license to scream and yell all you want. it did take my mind off the crap i was feeling in my body. heh.

its up to you to choose whichever method you want. all i can say is thgat the westerners are bloody noisy people.

of course, we do have c). my very own. SURVIVAL. when your mind kicks in to pain, you go into a survivor's frame of mind. you think, " what can i do to stop, or at least reduce, the pain?" er yeah. i dont use that one in training cuz if you slack off its obvious. but ive used it before in bball, with relatively good results. so its up to you i guess.

my personal fave is still a). just go in, and whack. think about the shit later. even better, dont think at all about anything or anyone. just go in, and do what you have to do to the best that you can do it. its a hard ideal, but not impossible.

quote of the day:-
row because you have to, as any other reason will not pull you through.-me.