sunday was like 1337. everything was like 1337. we 1337ed the neoprints too. ylynn lost her neoprint virginity on sunday. like zomg, she did it twice! *ok. enough with the inneuendoes*

and yes. to you too. for being. well. there. and allowing us to throw pink penguins at you. ok. xD

mon was kinda forgettable. did k1. was passably fine.

TODAY WAS LIKE GAH. cuz i was so stressed over ass week and doing k1. so its double stress and mr yong like wanted us to sprint zone 3 around the bay. so it was very stressful. you try being there. my thanks to xintian for being so patient with me. and to victoria, my ex baller senior, who did k1 with me and we both had a major meltdown and were bawling at the end of the training. ah nvm.

thanks to brigitte, wanda, jo, vivien who comforted me most wonderfully.

especially to VIVIEN who took 157 back with me, was so perfectly...perfect and gah. that senior can be a counsellor la, shes so rational, and gives such good advice. and shes squishy. ahahaa. and she gave me her brown band! that was just PHWOAR. i love her tons. heartshearts.

and yeah, i guess im fine now. but i never wanna step into another k1 for at least a week. thank you. and ass week can go die. trying my best here and if it dont work out, so be it...

singing my thoughts back to me
like watching heartache on TV

hey its the weekend, and im completely exhausted. after this, im gonna go watch brokeback mountain. seen some spoilers, and i think im gonna cry when i actually do watch it. yeah.

its hard work being happy. sometimes you can just BE happy and its no effort at all. but when people start expecting you to be happy when you arent...yeah it gets hard at times. especially when you arent your usual self and people can SEE that and then they ask like whats wrong. yeah, im transparent. meh. everyone can tell when im feeling bad. >.<

dont forget i'll hold your head
watch the night sky fading red

this is oddly surreal. having sad songs in the background and its just me and the computer in a completely silent room (except for the song)...its like its just me in this whole world, an odd contrast to the WOAH of after-training whoopdedoo. its like...kinda dream sequence-like.

but as you sleep
and no one is listening
i will lift you off your feet
and keep you from sinking

people ask me sometimes...what is so good about canoeing? why do you like about it?

and i find it almost impossible to articulate it to them.

cuz i dont know. what IS so good about it? you could just fob em off by saying stuff like "fun lor.", "addictive lor." but after a while, it kinda gets old. well ive finally figured it out. (thanks to Grey's Anatomy, muahaha. that show is a lifesaver.)

that feeling you get when youre flying in the water; youre pulling with all you got and youre FLYING and you dont wanna ever stop (feeling best gotten when the evil RESISTANCE comes off or during a FULL ON ZONE 5 WHACK sprint) and its a feeling of power, of glory, this huge adrenaline rush, the PHWOAR of it all... and youre thinking IM UNSTOPPABLE IM TEN FEET TALL IM BULLET PROOF HELL IM FIFTEEN AND INVINCIBLE.

or even when youre just normally rowing, and you just hear and relax in the splash of the water and the rhythm of everyone pacing, its like youre sitting on the water. for that one moment (feeling best gotten in a K boat), you are ON the water. you dont feel the boat, you just see you on the water in the middle of this quiet reservoir and the feeling is like completely outasite.

and suddenly when you get out of the boat, when you carry out the boat, that feeling, that power, that RUSH...its all gone. and all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap.

and thats why i love canoeing. cuz i just cant get enough of that wonderful feeling.

cuz soon i'll be leaving you
but you won't be leaving me

see you on sunday, junyi. love you.

GAH i think im starting to fall in love with sexy pictures like these. especially since the guy and the girl are around my age xD (although it IS a posed pic.) its just so sweet. sigh. idealistic me. =)

fine, got this off *somewhere* (junyi knows. hee.) but even though its. well. GAY (literally, if you read the words.) but i still that love like that is kinda enduring. and kinky. always kinky. what is WITH me today? xD HE DESTROYED A CITY WITH HIS SORCERY FOR THE MAN HE LOVES. (hadrian). i think hadrian is nice name. although it DOES mean "evil one".

AHAHAA i have nothing else better to do on the bus to kallang than take gay pictures of my sleeping seniors. NYEH. xDDD (yeaa thats meishan and brigitte)

seeing junyi this sunday, really happy about it. MISS YOU GIRL! plus, i want my yearbook. gah.

alright! enough pictures. i have to go link people now. lala.

mom: eh will you come and read newspapers and stop being a FROG IN A WELL?
me: Ribbit Ribbit.
mom: Croak Croak.

okay nevermind. just a gay convo between my mother and i. xDD

well road run was over yesterday and i got 11th amongst ip1 and ip2 girls. yaaay. thats better than i couldve imagined. and by the way, that really did not feel like 9 rounds around the track. even though since i rolled in at round 18mins plus, it definitely was. ugh. maybe running on the road is better for my 2.4. *kicks track*

anyways after that, the seniors announced that NONE of them would be going for training today so the wellbeing of the 9 new j1 dudes coming would be in the "capable" hands of us ip1 members.

$#@!

so it was just me, gero, stuart, beehim, grace, ale, xinpei, the two super seniors michelle and chew and mr yong and mr nasiman.

effectively, we were in charge.

so we trotted around to plaza sing after road run, and ate unhealthy crap at KFC and played arcade til we had to go off for training. at training, thankfully mark and zhikai dropped by to help us out and pick the newbies up from the bus stop. so we didnt have too much to worry about. at first it was slightly messed up cuz so-and-so wasnt coming and another so-and-so was coming and then so-and-so wants to row with so-and-so cuz they are friends. %$#@!

but generally, even though gero was i/c, i ended up reading out the lineup, shouting GATHER like a demented person, leading warmdown and teaching them the end cheer. which fit me just fine cuz gero was doing the logistics and i hate logistics. UGH. and gero and i didnt cap in our k1s even though the newbs were in the bay so we couldnt row there and we just went up and down the 500m mark. BUT WE DIDNT CAP. YAY. and mr yong was nice today. whee.

me, the 2nd in charge. great work to gero and i~

anyways everything went fine, there were NO SCREWUPS. seniors, do ya hear that???

wahahaa.

we rule.

listening to soco a lot lately. Down makes me feel very sad. it is possibly one of my favourite songs. tomorrow's road run. real nervous about it. but on a good note...

I HAVE THE CDS FOR UNDERWORLD EVOLUTION, BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN AND MIRRORMASK IN MY HANDS.

ok fine, the first two are R21, and mirrormask is like super ulu la. but lets all worship neil gaiman. woot. i dunno if they work cuz my dad just passed em to me. hope they do. meh.

miss ylynn a ton. and others like wynne, ele, chia, yada yada.

lol, its of my own opinion that secretly im a masochist. i like pain. kinda. so thus, when i run tomorrow, i must WELCOME the pain! yay! will try to get myself emo and angry before the run cuz thats when im my most masochistic.

the HCI badge is squiggly-esque.

happy birthday, ele babe. love you.

lol. vday. nuff said. have enough chocolate to fill me to saturation, hugged a million people, got a coupla gufts and went on my "date" of sorts. thank you to WENDY who happily accompanied me cuz ele had aep and des had to go meet her KOFF. God, i love my OGL. thank goodness for seniors. xD

what can i say about the "date"? not gonna say anything. was alright i guess.

cya round. hope the people who actually were with me at the "date" arent disappointed with this super short post. whatever. not in a very good mood right now. due to the fact that im listening to emo music.

DIE WORLD DIE.

oh well. vday was good while it lasted. see you all next year.

vday is on tuesday. and i have like just THREE presents. one for ylynn, one for joy( to thank her for her mini counselling session), and one for my angel from the senior class. who is as yet unknown to me.

GAH i need a present for my mortal and i DID think about writing her a poem. but the fact is that im drained. i cant write anymore. the inspiration has...stopped. after trying for CAP, i just cant. not anymore. and i dont wanna FORCE myself to write cuz i know it wont come out good. siiigh. im so tired. this is completely messed up.

monday --> trng. tuesday --> vday. wednesday --> dragonboat trng. thursday --> nothing (thank goodness). friday --> ROAD RUN and trng.

i am drained. completely drained. i just feel like taking a week off school to just relax and chill. i miss dunman. mates going to italy in march. njc doesnt have that kinda thing. not yet, at least, i hope.

reality is: I GO TO SCHOOL TO CANOE.

its true. i just live through the day, learn some stuff. and then go off for trng. on days i dont have trng, everything just seems so dry and stuff. ugh. PE, MI, lunch and trng are things that make school worthwhile...

hope ele or someone is free on tuesday. i need some MAJOR cheering up.

YAY vdae's coming soon! its a tme for love and cheer. and me being broke cuz i have tons of friends and not enough $$ to buy gifties for em all.

time to be cheapo. ahahaa.

anyways, i got sth for my dearest JUNYI. ordered it via school. ahahaa, yea im cheapo. by the way, if we DO meet up on tuesday, please bring des's prez. i can then FINALLY give it to her. thankews, dear.

roadrun next friday. my yong checking all canoeists' placings. i wanna get top for ip1 girls! but according to senior, we rate according to ip1 and 2 girls, ip1 and 2 guys, et cetera. so not only do i have to pwn my level mates, i also have to pwn most of my seniors. that is not very fun.

all DHSians, still missing you all. thats one thing thatll never change!

now, math test tmr. just have to survive it, then its training! then the $#@%ing weekend and $#@%ing tuition. that stinks. then next week is ROADRUN. vwee.

good luck to all j1s. i know you getting your results tmr! jiayou to all! oh well, no matter what i'll still have my PANCAKE sijing cuz she's DSA. dont that rock.

see all of ya tmr.