i was listening to the FFX-2 opening, Kuon: Hikari No Nami No Kioku. which technically more or less means Eternity: Memories of Waves and Light.

still, when it started playing, this major wave of nostalgia just swooped over me. and i just simply felt like crying.

that song ties into many of my fond memories of long ago, and when it played, i...remembered many things.

Kuon was my favourite song of ALL the instrumentals of final fantasy music. i even dare say it was my favourite overall song. (but if i had to choose one with words, i gotta say it has to be 1000 No Kotoba from FFX-2. FFX-2 has the best music, but the suckiest plot, haha.)

i remembered the times when us the FF maniacs (like wynne, junyi and everyone else) would just sit down and rave crazy about FF. all of them. going from FF7: sephiroth stcking his huge sword into aerith to FF8: arguments about whether squinoa pairings or seiftis pairings were better for fanfiction to FF9: me cosplaying zidane in class (tie up hair, grab sy's toy daggers) to FFX: mutterings about how the water scene was horribly overrated to FFX-2: slamming the plot, praising the graphics, and laughing about what a FRUIT Brother was to FF7 advent children: where we said something about how stupid and idiotic cloud was and how chio aerith was.

haha, junyi and i sipping red wine at my place while watching AC. wonderful times.

i remember how anime crazy our class girls used to be. its almost scary. yet, we were so attuned to each other that it became so fun to have someone to blabber to about whatever random anime you read or watched. for tsubasa and FY, i had chia and sometimes ele. for X/1999, i had sy and LWT and adie. for chobits, i had chia. and the games. whatever games i played on my ps2, i always had wynne or junyi to turn to.

and all that has, technically, fallen to crap.

i listen to the song, and i remember the good times we had. it almost make me wanna curl up in a corner and wonder WHY THE HELL DID I GIVE THAT AWAY.

really. it hurts sometimes, when i look at how incoherently messed up my life can be sometimes. everything was fine back then. it wasnt EXCEPTIONALLY 1337 or anything, but it was fine.

suddenly, "fine" seems like heaven.

i miss GEP. i really do. that special "something" has vanished from my life. and i somehow think it'll never come back, despite how many years i may spend in IP.

theres technically only one good thing that has come out from this. my brother once said that you know who your lifelong friends are. theyre the ones you can just sit down with anywhere, anytime and we can talk til the cows come home. i realize now, who my lifelong friends really are. theyre the ones that care and have stuck by me all this time.

especially junyi. yesterday was the 2nd time you saved my ass regarding schoolwork in 6 months. first IRS. now my IH. you are one great person, babe. and i thank you for having been here all this while. whenever i have a problem i think JUNYI! whenever ive a date and need a dian4 deng1 pao4, i think JUNYI! whenever im just boliao and wanna go out, i think JUNYI!

haha. yeah, thanks to you. i want my sleepover in june, you hear. lol!

i thank Kuon, for it holds so many memories for me. and it really makes you think about whats really important.

in school with sherlene's laptop. haha, so fun. about a metre away, the PRC scholars are bopping away to chinese music. while i attempt to drown them out with FOOLS LIKE ME by LISA LOEB. sent by wonderful ele, of course haha.

was chatting to ylynn while both of us were in school. haha, for a while, i was on "telly". cuz her comp was apparently hooked up to the big screen, kinda. how fun. hi kev, ice, everyone. xPP

free periods are good.

gah tomorrow is national junior kayaking. allow me to hereby freak out and die. cuz gero pok and i are doing both k2 500m and 1000m. 1000m, means 1km. how wonderfully fun.

whee ylynn is back on msn. how fun hahaa.

the PRC people have nice voices. kudos to yingshu and chenxi haha.

aud and grace doodling pic of jonathan on board. it looks really bad.

haha, everyone saying im sick in the mind cuz im playing the tralala song by gunther.

oh you touch my tralala
mm my ding ding dong

how fun haha!

and you. stop being emo cuz im emo. bad reason to be emo, really. haha.

AND DELETE THOSE STUPID PICSSSS.

i look really bad in some of them. as in, really. eeks. camera phones should be banned, i tell you.

whee.

once again, my thanks to sherlene for lending me her laptop haha. and to the school for allowing us to hack connection. LOL. later, then. bye.

haha. was at kap today.

no, i dont go there very often. cuz the food is unhealthy. but this the only relatively near place to go hang out which is near njc.

ate sodium-enriched strips of potato (my attempt to sound healthy) and drank ice lemon tea. heh. im trying to be good and adhere to the canoeist diet! hahaa. but considering i gave in to temptation a few days ago and ate hokkien mee for lunch, i guess im not doing to well. ugh. im bad. xP

and you. stop trying to take pictures of me with your pixellated hp camera. makes me look like someone outta FF7. which is really pixellated.

yes. THAT kinda pixellated. ff7 kinda pixellated. your hp camera sucks haha. xD or maybe i just dont wanna have my pic taken and im making excuses.
now. if your camera could make me look from THAT *points to previous pic* to THIS *points to chiobu pic above of SAME PERSON mind you* then i guess i wouldnt mind.

haha. aeris is really hot in advent children. like. sizzling hot. xD go babe!

yay i get to go OBS finally! 26th to 30th june, babehs! hahaa. hope i get to kayak til the sun goes down.

today was fun anyways. thanks for your gift. =)

i am currently relatively un-emo. but it will be back. especially since the evil interim report is here. ugh. kill me already. my GPA sucks like shit. but let us not dwell on such spastic matters.

haha went down to pullup bar today to meet with seniors. thought we were gonna get whacked (refer to previous post) but apparently not. all they did was stick us on the block, make us row and correct our stroke. then poof we go on the canoe ergo machine to row a set. i have finally managed to twist! on land, that is. but still. feels pretty good. now all i have to do is whack on land til the next training on thursday and try twisting in the water. whee.

i have realized that when CANOEISTS are dating, or if they like each other, they make it really really obvious. as in really in-your-face kinda obvious. especially the j2s haha. cuz they are the only bunch of peole who are hooking up inside canoeing club. they will just stick to each other. unnaturally so. until everyone will notice. like -_-''. good for gossip though haha.

charmaine is now the sister of the ip1s. we have a new mother. muahaa. will post pictures once we get there. (and we have a pa too! woot. hahaa.)

lol. just remembered something.

bee: eh whazzat? *trys to steal look at secret supplement that jason is stuffing into bag*
jason: dont look dont look! its...its bad for your health!
bee: if its bad for health then why you take?
jason: aiyah its the supplement i take to MAKE ME HANDSOME.
bee, gill, me: PFFFFTTTTTTTT!!!!!!

and from then on we were ribbing him about how it wasnt working and how he should go get a refund et cetera haha.

he doesnt even need the substance lor. he already has his CONSTANCE. harhar. xD almost there, people, almost there! (along with vivien and zhanyou. come on already haha.)

anyways, i shall jiayou on the block. i really will. so i can whack during nats. my canoeing schedule is as follows:-

1st-2nd april: National Junior Kayaking.
tiff and gero stuck in k2 500m AND k2 1000m.
7th to 9th april: off to Malaysia for Danga Bay International Games
whole team going!
11th to 13th april: NATIONALS.
tiff and gero stuck in k2 1000m. WTF.

oh well. go me. off to do work now haha.

i am being slammed for being happy, jokey and et cetera after training.

correction. WE are. we meaning the ip1s.

i care. we care. we really do. i joke to take the pressure off.

cuz if we are serious all the time,

theres never telling what kinda shit we might do.

--what i might do.

to get rid of the stress.

this is killing me. i dont wanna become the person i was 9 months ago. certain dunmanians may know. i just want nats and ass week to be over. the pressure is bad. really bad.

i dont know what im gonna do tmr when we get publicly slammed by the seniors. i dont know what im gonna do on thursday, which is my next training day. pack up and walk off?

you know. people dont die from suicide.

sometimes i just want to put on a bunny suit and scream.

im not as happy as everyone thinks.
im not as stable as everyone thinks.
im not as happy go lucky as everyone thinks.
i dont lead such a carefree life as everyone thinks.

sometimes.

i can go

completely

insane.

i sense people being disappointed in me. how strange that in just a week, things can change so much. suddenly in the week back to school, things go shitty.

poof go results. poof go my form in the water. poof goes everything i actually held dear in njc.

aaand the capsizes. eeks. eeks. eeks.

moral of story: my results affect me more than i thought they would.

bleep this. i want my life back. i want my life baaack.

and. people may be disappointed in me. but frankly, m'dear. i dont really give a shit. im quite sick of caring, really. who cares if i go home alone in the bus? more quiet, alone time for me.

and lose the hugging too. i dont feel friendly. instead, i shall just tuck myself into bed with a nice cold beer.

and bitch to Junyi. God, i need that girl now.

gero, lets get nats over and done with. lets get ass week over and done with. and maybe in june i'll feel alive again.

i feel disillusioned with who i am. with what ive got. i dont wanna flunk in nats. im pulling with what ive got every training, and its not enough. its never enough. i dont wanna flunk in studies. i try my best in math. but i dont understand. i just cant understand. maybe im just one big flunker.

no, dont worry. im not gonna be the 3rd. im not so stupid.

i just feel really emo. really depressed.

IP is death. i blame me getting here to LUCK. just like i was lucky to get into GEP. me and my lucky eraser which i flipped for all the questions i didnt know.

sigh. like my brother said, "why study so hard? we're all gonna die anyway."

how true.

whee. try and spot me in this db mass of people. on the right side of boat, third person from right. hee. this is the women's tertiary boat. i believe. ugh, super sleepy, but being such a photo whore. hahaa.

i want june to come soon. theres a lot of pressure on me. not just cuz nats are coming in TWO WEEKS but also cuz of my math results. which suck.

i miss GEP. i miss DHS GEP. i miss 2K '05. i wanna go back. siiigh.

charmaine and her IP1 kids! haha. she's our mom! lol, she really looks like our mom in the pic. or at least our 20-something year old sister. xD taken during j1 and IP outing.










more happy photos taken during j1 and IP outing. szemin, jasmine, victoria, gill, gero, jo, nat, me, cherry. taken at heeren. i like this pic. hahaa.











more mr500 pics! us doing dragonboat imagery. which is very tiring. and its strangely more tiring than actually pulling in the water. though that dont make much sense since up there we are just pulling air and down there we are pulling water. -_-'' oh well the visible people are corrine, wanda, me and gill. doing the right side of the db.







NJC DB! im drumming. means that im the idiot perched on top of that precarious seat. this is a mixed boat. drumming is fun. the pics where i am actually rowing i will not post here. simply cuz theyre super small hahaa.

nats in 2 weeks. jiayou everyone. lets do this together.

LOL. us after mr500! not all of us of course. some ran off to the toilet. xD
sharon, lina, sijing, me, wanda, xinpei, gill, sabu. the top two extras are cherry and jo.
the picture was originally just wanda and i, with xinpei taking it using sabu's camera. then suddenly people came from all directions yelling I WANT! I WANT! then xinpei herself dumped the camera to someone and joined in. then...'nuff said. this is the final product hahaa.

i am back. and still aching. but the ache has gone down to just my stomach and my thighs. meaning that i still have problems standing up, sitting down, bending down, laughing, yawning and generally moving.

%$#@!

reasons: i did 200 pushups, 100 crunches, 100 squats and 100 calf raises on saturday. and i db-ed a lot. the pumping didnt kill cuz i did it in sets. but the crunches was done at a super fast rate. meaning the lactic acid built up really fast. same for the squats. the calf raises strangely didnt have any repercussions. xD

i love db-ing now. strange, innit. since i started off not really liking it much in the first place. the j2s go on about team spirit and yada yada but i couldnt feel it at all. i didnt feel it at the 2005 river regatta, which was the first competition i ever took part in. even before i joined njc officially as a student. maybe thats why my boat didnt do too well there. cuz i didnt pull with my heart and soul.

it took me mr500 to realize that.

db is a team sport. to excel in it, you gotta have heart and soul and desire and passion and all that stuff. each stroke must be with power and wanting. true, on sunday my body was killing me. dynamics strained my muscles and you could see everyone wincing. however, when i got into that db for my first race (women's open semi finals), i only felt the pain for the first two buoys. after that i went numb and all i could do was yell LONG PULL LONG PULL and pull each stroke with everything i had and everything i got.

it was over very fast. i didnt notice anything.

my thanks to the NUS canoeists who tagged me. all i can say is that it was a team effort. ^_^ lol, junyi, maybe i'll join NUS in the future instead of SMU, to hang out with you and stuff. HAHA.

by the way. the course was longer than 500m? lol, in my k2, i felt the length and i was thinking, "why the heck is this taking so long?" but strangely in the db, i didnt feel anything at all. it is miraculous we got this far, especially since our team was a junior team and more than half of those members who were rowing had only gone for ONE db training. i was really proud of us, especially since i didnt expect us to get anything. i expected to be steamrollered, just like during regatta. where everyone but the senior girls' team (j2s) fell.

it is good that we can do this even without our j2s with us. i almost wonder what would have happened if we did have our seniors there. perhaps our mixed boat would have gotten a medal? maybe our women's open boat could have whacked those LAST FEW SECONDS for us to beat the NTU (C) boat.

HAHA. when the announcer was asking for NTU (C), i couldnt help but laugh. lame joke i know, but yeah. (lol. NTUC! the supermarket and more!)

congrats to samc too. we pwned our respective comps!

and alan. i blogged little for the last post cuz i was dead tired. -_-

to Junyi and the team again, i love you all, and thank you.

heart and soul, go the distance.

List Of Loot (LOL)
1st for women's tertiary
2nd for women's open

whee. shiny objects fly my way. xD

DRAGONBOATING IS NICE.

my k2 is floundering somewhere. let us not talk about it. lala.

i ache. i ache. i ache. especially my trapezium and delts and that little side bit right under the right armpit.

medals dedicated to dearest Junyi and to the team, both of which were behind me all the way.

i gotta love junyi.

i am so scared about the imminent embarrassment tomorrow that im doing what i should not be doing and binging on chocolate and maggi mee.

its MR500 for goodness sakes!

and we are up against scary schools like NTU, NUS, and ACJC. and this is specifically for my k2 race. they look like they are taking this competition seriously, so its like we will prolly be up against j2s AT LEAST. who have at least one year or more of experience. and we've only been rowing for like 4-5 months?

unless with my luck, ACJC sends in j1s who have only been rowing for 3 months. which is also highly unlikely since 3 month k2 rowers wont be able to balance the boat properly.

so with my luck, they will send in one j1 and one j2 in the k2 boat. which would give us that SLIGHT chance of beating them and not being horribly embarrassed.

unless of course, the j2 is as good as the Canoe Goddess, DEBBIE. then we will still be trashed even if the j1 is one of the most horrible rowers in the country.

*is reminded of the time trials when we were against debbie and random j1. gero and i were left in the backwash. came in like 3 or more boatlengths behind them*

no offense. but YIKES.

WAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH.

gero and i have decided that even if we do come in last, the placing doesnt matter. we will aim for a nice timing instead. below 3 minutes. =)

WHICH WE HOPE LIKE HELL WE CAN ACHIEVE OR WE WILL JUST DIE LA. cuz 3 minutes is quite a horrible timing already.

*goes to hide under bed*

oh well, let me just enjoy tonight's bbq at jo's house. happy 16th, babe.

lol after trng (which was passably fine), we went to hang out. we meaning the j1s and the IPs. now note that i was in a slighty crummy mood, so thankfully that trip majorly cheered me up. sorry to alan, whom i cancelled on. >.<

we went to subway, took photos and ate. we walked around and took photos. we shopped and took photos. AHAHAA. with jo's new camera and xinpei's camera too.

i belong to cherry and charmaine is now my mother. HAHA. shes also gero and gill's mom. which would mean we are all sisters. LOL. speak of team bonding, man. charmaine muttered something about binary fisson when questioned about our father. lina thinks differently!

lol i fully sounded like a fangirl on those last 2 posts. but i reallyreally love my junyi tons and tons. and i miss her tons too.

so thus, i am perfectly straight. yes samc, i saw your tag on the tagboard. AHAHAS. nah im straight. so is junyi. thankfully.

*goes off to hug picture of the super hot silver haired men in final fantasy advent children. especially YAZOO*. ele likes kadaj though.

long haired men in animes and mangas are extremely sexy. do not ask me why.

woot. ^_^

plus, junyi always knows when its me on the phone.

caller ID?

nah i think she recognises my SEXY ATTRACTIVE voice. (LOL yeaa right)

heck even her MOTHER knows when im calling >.<

but anyways, without my junyi, there wouldnt be anyone to bump arses with in class, smack arses and chase each other round, and et cetera.

not to mention SINGING STUPID SONGS.

without my junyi, i wouldnt dare to sing stupid songs like OHHH YOU TOUCH MY TRALALA...MMMM, MY DING DING DONG. (by gunther. heh.)

and THE INTERNET IS FOR PORN. by avenue q. cuz she always does the voices the best.

and WITCH DOCTOR. everyone only sings the chorus. (the ooh ee ooh ah ah bit) but my junyi sings the whole darn thing! (i told the witch doctor i was in love with you~)

plus, without my junyi, i wouldnt sing ITS RAINING MEN every time it rains outside. i quite miss that little tradition of ours.

i miss having my junyi to squish in cinemas when im watching a sappy show. even though she dont like sap. but its nice to know my junyi is sitting there for me, when shes not exactly really enjoying the show. e.g. rumor has it. how was it? junyi says it was...fine. -.- but she liked the grandma. xD

i miss my junyi tons and tons and tons. >.<

oh shit happens.

http://www.whatoddsocks.blogspot.com

my dearest JUNYI.

for reasons that are as yet unknown to me (maybe cuz im bored), i have decided to think of 10 REASONS WHY I LOVE JUNYI.

1) she is extremely understanding. she knows exactly what kinda crap im going through. even if shes not here.
2) she can read my mind. do not ask me how on heck that happens. but when im trying to say something, she'll usually be the first to get it. for example, she ALWAYS gets FULL MARKS on my "ask your friends" kinda quizzes.
3) shes fat and sexy. and proud of it. she REFUSES to exercise, and she is fully herself always.
4) if you ask her to do something, 50 bucks says she'll do it for you. as long as its not ridiculous, of course.
5) she is very giving. CHOCOLATE FOR VDAY! A HUGE HUMUNGOUS BAR. as i mean a REALLY BIG one at that too.
6) she has really nice hair. the pantene kind of hair. no im not kidding, by the way. go do an advertisement, kiddo.
7) she always says the right things. like when im sad, she will always be able to cheer me up. like. always. cuz shes JUNYI. ^_^
8) she is the world's best counsellor. she gives the best advice in the whole of darn singapore. shes really sensible at times when im all GRAH.
9) she has a SHITLOAD of stuff in common with me. like which other person MY AGE in the entire WORLD has watched monty python and black adder, read weird strange books and graphic novels, watched american pie and other weird R(A) movies, plays all the games i play (like final fantasy, dynasty warriors etc), listens to the music i do (except for the sap, of course. junyi is not a fan of sap. i mean stuff like RHAPSODY.) and et cetera et cetera. this provides a lot of fodder for conversations on msn and in her condo's swimming pool.

not to mention shes (and the entire 2k class too) has seen me in my unconventional swimming attire. which consists of one weird coloured (green, orange, black) nike bra and a short pair of shorts. and theyre really short. i blame my mother. but shes seen me in them a hell more times than the 2k lot of course. simply cuz i can practically go to her house blindfold by now.
10) lastly. SHE WILL NEVER FALL FOR THE SAME GUY I LIKE CUZ HER TASTE AND MY TASTE IN MEN IS DRASTICALLY DIFFERENT. like in america, you see cases of besties become enemies over a stupid Guy. that will never happen to junyi and i. simply cuz she likes the GayBoys. and i like the Hunky Ones. simple example. DYNASTY WARRIORS 5. she likes zhang he, i like zhao yun. ^_^ she prefers slash over het in fanfiction. (yes! she reads fanfiction! like me! now how many people do that?!)

so junyi. i have now fuelled your ego to the skies. i love you tons. and i miss you lots too. *wants a sleepover!* ahahaa. june, ok!

<3 my dearest bestie.

youre back from obs. nice to know. ^_^

monday. the only free day i have. its so nice to just slack at home and sleep.

just read X/1999 book 16, which just came out. it made me feel like brokeback mountain all over again. sad.



i will try to explain. guy on left is subaru, guy on right is seishirou. they go way back. seishirou is a trained assassin and he killed subaru's twin sister whom subaru loved like heck. seishirou assumes subaru hates him and that his heart's desire was to kill him. later on, subaru joins the dragons of heaven side (good guys) and seishirou joins the dragons of earth side (bad guys) and they have their final showdown at the rainbow bridge.

apparently subby's sis put a spell on seishirou so that whenever he tries to kill subby, his spell would backfire on him. but subby LOVES seishirou (i know. twisted. is that masochistic or what.) so he tries to hunt seishirou down after he fled so that seishirou could kill him. so that his heart would be free at last. later seishirou dies, due to said spell. they have happy confession time, and he dies.

what is love?

love is, after all, a nebulous thing. two people may be in love with each other and yet define it into two entirely different ways. what precisely is love anyway? caring more for the other person's wellbeing than your own? beng willing to die for them? being unable to stop thinking about them?

coming back to life for them?

wishing to be killed by them?

there is an old song about all the things love is. a river that drowns the tender reed. a razor that leaves the soul to bleed. a hunger, an endless aching need. a flower, and you its only seed.

love is all of these things.

the saddest thing of all is that seishirou never knew.

love is a funny thing sometimes; it can exist without existing, because only in the acknowledgement of the emotion does it become real. if someone is truly in love, it is obvious to everyone who surrounds them. but it is possible to be in love without anyone realizing, even yourself.

such was the way with him.

it is not true to say his mind was blocked, or that he was under a spell, or even that he had no choice.

denial springs eternal.

if he looked into a pair of green eyes, and a certain feeling rose in the pit of his stomach or a certain ache in his heart, he could write it off and pretend he had never noticed in the first place.

such was the way with him.

it was simply a pity, becuase no one ever realized.

not even him.

they loved each other, and they never knew. so to all those in love, or who suspect they are in love, dont be a hardass. tell that person how you feel.

before its too late.

(sorry for emo post. x-16 really hit me hard. its a really sad manga.)

today i had time trials. its too painful to talk about in full sentences so point form it shall be.
-k2 with gero
-first set ok
-second set was better than at last charge we CAPPED LIKE ZOMG LIKE WEJEURVJSEBFQBVBFOSHWSFIBONEDVN!
-floated around a bit
-had major coughing fit. its one of those wanna puke but cannot puke kinda things. maybe cuz i hadnt eaten breakfast. hee.
-gero's chest was hurting. she goes into a coughing fit too.
-saved by sabu and jun. boat gets towed back by them
-rode back via victoria and constance's boat. gero and i holding to each other like neo and trinity in that elevator scene in the matrix (the first one).
-we feel a little crummy BUT WE STILL LOVE EACH OTHER RIGHT, GERO
-1000m set with vivien and brigitte. (God bless their very patient, wonderful, encouraging souls.)
-lala the end, had good gossiping session with cherry, jo, gero, bee at toilet so we all felt better. especially since all the ip1s didnt have a rosy training or anything today.
-gero and i rowed our hearts out today. i felt it and im sure she did too. so hip hip hooray for us cuz we improved! (i think. i hope. hee.)

ODE TO GERO!
OH GERO
I LOVE YOU SO
I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU ARE MY PARTNER FOR NATIONALS
TWO NOOBY JUNIORS
BUT I STILL LOVE YOU
CUZ WE ARE IN A K2 TOGETHER
SO WE HAVE TO ROW FOR EACH OTHER
THANK YOU FOR BEING THERE FOR ME
BUT YOU ARE VERY NAGGY
LIKE MY MOTHER
BUT I STILL THINK YOU ROCK
HEART AND SOUL GO THE DISTANCE
LETS PWN AT NATIONALS TOGETHER, BABY!

eh nevermind.

canoe camp on tues wed thurs. whee. that doesnt leave a lot of time for my bio project.

HERES A SHOUT OUT TO JUNYI WHOM I LOVE MORE THAN LIFE ITSELF.
YOU ROCK, DEAR BESTIE. AND I'LL ALWAYS BE HERE FOR YOU.
JUST LIKE YOURE ALWAYS HERE FOR ME.
THANKS ALWAYS.

and also to the dunman mates who visit my bloggie often. samc, wynne, ele, junyi, js, kevin and yada yada. heres to you! YO!

yes, enough fluff for now. ahahaa. later.

ass week is officially over. as in it was over yesterday after the bio paper, but blogger was down so i couldnt blog about it. gah.

went out with GERO. hung out at j8 and toa payoh, cuz we were both sort of broke, but still had fun nonetheless. DIDNT go for training. i think mr yong isnt too pleased about that. but hey, im devoting my life to canoeing during the holidays, and ive a project due! which means ive only friday to do it, since the rest of the days either im not free or everyone else isnt free. and its a super big bio project too. gah.

going out for karaoke later with mom. there strangely wasnt any training today. tomorrow there are TIME TRIALS. like gah! i havent trained in forever! (fine, a week) and its gero and me in k2. doing 1000m. for my inspiration, i stare at my brother's nice canoeing trophy, and it gives me hope, cuz it was for k2 1000m too.

sent a bunch of sad songs over to gero yesterday cuz she was feeling emo (dunno why) and needed them to cheer her up (i know. shes WEIRD. xD) i sent rachael yamagata's worn me down, lisa loeb's How and lisa loeb's fools like me. its quite funny that i got ALL those songs from my dear friend ELE. you gotta admit, ele has good taste in music. ahahaa.

nat was moaning about her 3rd lang malay paper today. four hours. hope youre ok, nat!

gen is officially back from OBS. haha.

life is pretty much smooth sailing for now. apart from the PROJECT, and canoe camp. was digging details out of lina last nighton msn. ahahaa. then i told her gay jokes til she had to go off. *weeps* lol i enjoy talking to people, its so fun, lol.

GILL GRACE JONATHAN AUDREY! OUR PROJECT SHALT NOT DIE!

buy njc funtasia tix from me, darn it. 20th may! and go for IP preview! 22nd april!

lol.

whee! bio tomorrow and then everything will be over!

a-math: nuff said i shall fail. as usual.
hcl: it was actually better than math! zomg what has this world come to.
chem: wow! the best so far! i love ms selva.
e-math: better than a-math but i bet ill fail too.

ugh, math stinks. ugh ugh ugh. bio tomorrow. must mug up light and dark reaction and other random crap like that too. last nite was SUPPOSED to be all mugging BUT! instead spent all of my time on msn crapping with gero, CHERRYwithastalk and nat.

hee.

well after today's exam, ms selva requested to see us to give out tix for funtasia, njc's funfair on the 20th of may. GO! YOU HEAR ME! ALL MY FRIENDS MUST BUY TIX FROM ME AND GO! YESYESYES! ahahaaa.

after e-math (which was after chem), rushed off with grace to meet lina at bytz at fill up some form (for grace that is). happened to meet wanda too, so while wanda played weboggle as i watched, grace and lina were filling out the form. then, after grace filled it out, lina came over and suggested going to the library to mug. whee! wanda didnt wanna come so lina went, "ok, tiffany and i will go get our distinctions then!" as she went off. then wanda followed us out lol, saying that she wanted her distinctions too.

-_-'' LOL.

so we all headed to the library to mug. they did their math (UGH.) as i whacked bio from this damn thick book from the library. we half mugged half gossiped, and then later suihang came along and chatted with us a bit. ahahaa, it was really fun. very 1337, yo.

then later they all left for trng and then i left with them. but 74 came first so they all piled on, except for wanda and audrey cuz there wasnt enough space. then later 157 came so i took it home together with wanda and audrey, who got off at macritchie.

now im at home eating chocolate. life is good.

bio tomorrow. its the last one, people! and it starts at like 1230 to 130. so i get to go to school late. how cool is that? xD

listening to that funny song (everytime we touch by cascada) that wilbert sent me online. its very dance-remix-ish. whee. didnt know he liked that kinda songs. tender by feeder is also a really good song that my bro downloaded. whee.

i think i might go play weboggle now. its kinda addictive. AHAHAA.

is it love tonight
when everyone's dreaming
of a better life
in this world
divided by fear
we've gotta believe that
there's a reason we're here
yeah, there's a reason we're here

cuz these are the days worth living
these are the years we're given
and these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives
even if hope was shattered
i know it wouldn't matter
cuz these are the moments
these are the times
let's make the best out of our lives

go team. we will pwn! we were all here for a reason and that reason is to KISS ASS. lets make the best of it, kaes?

song lyrics taken from Our Lives by The Calling. (people who watch telly often will recognise it as this year's Oscar commercial song)

ass week is most horrible. it lasts forever, im telling you. i actually miss mr yong yelling at me from ONE CM away in his t1 while i die in my k2!

IM KIDDING. OBVIOUSLY.

well yeah, ass week stinks. but still, i need the break from all the drama going on in canoeing. gill and i were debating if ass week or math was better on msn last night (while attempting to mug for A Math).

gill says math. i voted trng.

cuz well. math has REPERCUSSIONS. i screw it, i die. parents, teachers, myself... they'll all be on my ass like a ton of bricks before i can say "k2". trng never has many repercussions. cuz although in the short run its more painful, in the long run, you know everything will end soon, and there is gonna be another training where you will hopefully do better.

in other words, long term (but less) pain=math. short term (but more) pain=canoeing.

take your pick. ugh. i dunno, maybe the grass is always greener on the other side, and next training where i go and t3h Sir yells at me again, id PRAY for math to come down from the heavens and strike me. and now when im suffering, i pray for mr yong to come yell at me.

im nuts. i know.

WHEN WILL IT END WHEN WILL IT END WHEN WILL IT END.

if anyone knows when canoe camp is, please tell me. im dying to know. indeedy ho ho ho.

lucky you. stuck in the jungles of sabah for OBS while i go PMS-y during ass week. arent you glad. ahahaa. GAH NEED TO GO MUG OFF I GO LALA.

good luck to ip1s and ip2s everywhere, especially to gero, gill, bee, stoot, jeremy, matthew, cherry, jo, nat, huijun. whee.

got two new sites from ELE. both from LOTR. one is funny, one is sad.

http://youtube.com/watch?v=hiH3AZJTF6w&search=Hobbits

this one is funny. its a remix of a bunch of random songs and has LOTR people repeating certain things. THEYRE TAKING THE HOBBITS TO ISENGARD! ahahaa. couldnt stop laughing. this is a must-see.

http://www.i-am-bored.com/bored_link.cfm?link_id=16031

this one is sad. its LOTR brokeback mountain, starring frodo and sam. very brokeback. very sad, along with sad background music. the video makers managed to pick out all the gay bits from LOTR haha. however it loads damn slowly, be warned. but trust me, you wont regret it.

A math & HCL tmrw. wish me luck.

well. they say someone in america commits suicide and dies every 18 seconds. you know it must be a true statistic, but hey, being a typical teen in a typically good school, you never figure its gonna happen to you or that you would actually know someone who had killed himself, indirectly or directly.

someone died on saturday night. i dont know him personally, though. but in an indirect way, i know him. for he was from dunman high, and is currently in VJC. or correction. WAS.

he was that CO guy, and he was just j2. he killed himself.

in my opinion, it was grossly unnecessary. suicide is for cowards who cant face up to reality. it is a permanent solution to a temporary problems. youre EIGHTEEN. what problems can you have? results, relationships, CCA. really. youre killing yourself over a failed exam, a girl who dumped you...isnt that kind of dumb?

but i shall not speculate. i shall get the full story from dearest junyi later.

but til then, i hope hes alright. dead. but alright.

RIP, yea.

shattered. completely shattered. im still in shock.

what. the. HELL. happened at training today?

fine, to put it simply, a HELL LOTTA people didnt make it into njc for their posting today. the team has like lost a shit load of members. and there are only two appeal places and mr yong doesnt know who to give them to. olivia going HCJC, she betrayed the team yada yada. no offense. but it was her MOTHER that wanted her to.

enter loads of badmouthing of a div team (traitors, arrogant, uninterested in work, selfish, lazy, undisciplined, lack of integrity). for the record, b div members (i quote), "lack commitment and are full of excuses".

a div people all sacked from whatever posts they are holding, b div members take over. a div pple all suspended from training.

this is like a BOMB thrown on me. really. i cannot believe it. no more recce or races and whatever for the a div. and im completely stunned. its like. no way.

im still surprised and stunned. first ass week, then canoeing. theyre all imploding in my face. i just cant believe it. its like. PHWOAR.

oh God. no. please, no.

PICTURES! YAY! I HAVE PRETTY PICTURES! not the neoprints we took on sunday, sorry to disappoint certain people like stupid sam c, but i havent scanned them yet, due to ass week and all. BUT SAM C! these are the photos for the dec canoeing CIP! so thus, you are in them too! now arent you happy.

well. lets start things off with a photo of me. xD this photo was taken while i was simply leaning against the wall and ele, itching for a chance to try out her then-new camera, told me to stay there while she snapped a pic. its a posed pic. xD im not trying to be emo, it just looks that way. ahahaa, i love this pic.
hi this is a pic of ele and me! i think i look super black. oh well. tough luck. at least i think im fairer now cuz we had more trngs in the SUN during the hols. ugh school stinks, dont it.
I KNOW THIS PIC IS THE WRONG WAY ROUND. i cant be bothered to turn it the right way round. thats me, ele, chia, FYI.
AH YES! i like this pic. ele's taking it, thats why she sint in the pic. thats chia, me, yw, and stupid sam c, looking demented as usual HAHA. and yw looking blur. as usual too. whee.

alright photo mania has thus ended. FYI, i hvnt cut my hair since then, so technically i look the same still. just with longer hair thats all. how fun. have realized that reservoir water is very bad for my hair cuz my hair once used to be SMOOTH AND SUPER FINE but now its kinda rough-ish. i have to turn to conditioner. something which i have never used once in my ENTIRE LIFE. GAH! now no one can say i havent sacrificed for canoeing haha! bleh.

i miss training. i miss the ip1s and the seniors. i miss taking bus home with vivien. i miss squishing people after trng. and i havent gone for trng in like what. two days? gaaaah. oh nvm! i can train my arse off during march hols. doesnt that rock. bye then.

hey you. have fun at obs, while i slog off at ass week, man. =)

ASSESSMENT WEEK STARTS NEXT TUESDAY ZOMG I AM LIKE DYING.

considering the fact that i dont understand math at all, thats one subject down the drain. TWO, if you consider MA1101 and MA1102. which are fancy names for E math and A math respectively. jeez, without samarth the lifesaver next to me in math 1102, id not understand shit at all.

anyways. i cant train til thursday either. which is when ass week ends. cuz well. they dont allow us to. thats like ONE WHOLE WEEK I WILL BE FLABBY ONCE I GET BACK but not like i have a choice anyways.

ugh scary some dude's voice just came over my speakers saying "im counting down the hours when i can be with you again."

no offense. but thats REALLY SCARY. >.<>.<

supposed to mug. im sleepy. gahh, dont wanna fail... guess i gotta start whacking. if i fail one subject, its off trng for a week. and a week is like three water trngs. my teammates will be eons ahead of me. so i have to pass everything. or die. yeaa.

i will thus not have time for anything or anyone til after ass week. i know youre off to obs this saturday so i guess thats good, since well. i will be ignoring everyone til thursday. gahh. off i go to mug then.