chem today, im pretty sure i screwed the whole of section B up and since thats like three quarters of the marks, i think im like officially gone byebye whee yay. they should like make the thing MCQ or something.

went to hwach today. had a good hour long conversation with barnard. i shall say no more, apart from the fact that hes a pretty nice chap.

im playing fluffy chinese music. and trying to do math. and trying to do chinese. and trying not to sms. and trying to make myself get my ass up to get some freaking food. of course im not trying very hard. yay.

yesyes i know, kiwis will be back soon. as soon i can get some time on the main comp cuz the layout is there. bro's on it most of the time in the afternoon, and thats the only time i can hop on. yuyun im glad you got my postcard! i lessthanthree you, baby ahahaha.

okay have switched to jap songs, from animes to games to DRUM MANIA MUSIC. sorry im hooked on that arcade game, uber fun la. not that pro but its cool all the same. im a sheep for drum mania, haha.

okay im off for some chow. buhbye, wish me luck for chink. >_> yuyun can i have your brain, youre not using it during the summer hols i presume. esp not for higher chinese at any rate. haha. (:

you, i never saw coming.

okay so tons of people want my kiwis back. SORRY! haha, but okay i promise you all i will get them back after ass week.

yes i am in my death throes, for it is ass week. ass week is here. phear teh evilz of ass week! today's the first day anyways, its just lit and geog. so arts people, gimme a shout! HOLLAZ! haha okay tmr we all die its chem lalala. today was vaguely fun though. (:

my shrimp wonton is cooking on the stove. brb.

okay back. two down, five more papers to go. thanks to ying who very sweetly messaged me a good luck sms. its stuff like that, that makes me all warm and fuzzly inside haha. hang with you all after exams k? (:

tiff, stop checking your phone. -.-

off to mug now, tralala. how do i squeeze six months of inattention in class in an afternoon? whee.

just did my weekly sunday reading at postsecret, and i suddenly remembered a secret that was posted two weeks ago. somoebody had posted in a secret saying "we're eloping june 24th". and when i read that i felt strangely happy that somewhere out there, people are taking charge of their lives and knowing what they want and going for it.

so its june 24th. go for it people.

okay folks this is a temporary blog skin okay. cuz i ran by it and thought it was pretty and though im not too fond of the font, i just figured id try it out for a bit. and maybe after a week and im tired of it, ill switch back. (: I PROMISE!

im missing my kiwis already. >_>

anyways chem consolidation today, im so gonna fail chem lah. haha give me hope! and more people please do my quiz! do! do! rah. and wynne i thought youre the pro kid when it comes to my quizzes? xD

also blogger is damn weird la, i can change my skin but when i try to do it for jason, it messes up and gives me all sorts of weird excuses. i shall bite it okay. really.

aight, im off. there is Mugging to be done.

Create your own Friend Test here

CLICK AND TAKE MY TEST NOW KTHX LOVE. (: this was done out of pure randomness.

its nearly 1am over here and im listening to anime music, both in the piano version as well as the lyrics version. Ayashi no Ceres' Scarlet! it is a very sad song, the way its sung i mean. and haha del, i passed on your japanese link thing to andy and i think he quite likes it. and is rather amused by it. the strange boy.

1am is a good time to go all epiphanic, and i could write an entire post about existentialism and whatnot and how we are all responsible for our own lives and etc and maybe sharpen my MI (aka philosophy) essay writing skillzzz but no i shan't because im feeling all yay due to the song and other stuff.

who thinks i should stay up and play sims2 til 4am like ive done before? (:
Junyi has a Wii, i am jealous. XD
okay byebye im running outta things to say. bleh.

del is a very strange person. i told her she had the sense of direction of a potato and she said that the potato would be insulted. >_> darling, you need a boyfriend! yay! xD

(i think i made that deduction many weeks ago at CAP when we all met artguy xP)

quick post anyways, who thinks i should change my blogskin? to one that ele made for me like ages ago but it doesnt fill the entire screen, only about three quaters of it so...what do you all think? (: but im rather fond of my kiwis still, but theyve been with me for a very long time. at least a year or so i think.

i heart my kiwis, i do i do.

and in completely separate news, im playing so many mushy songs on WMP that i think the poor machine is going to get a bloody toothache soon. i mean, having Mandy Moore's Crush (yeaaa mushy song alert, teenybopper love) blasting out from your speakers cannot be good for health.

okay byebye i need to go respond to a Very Important (yeah right) sms like now. HEE.

yesterday at church there wasnt any youth ministry and camp had just ended so almost every other youth was out recuperating cuz they went for the first service already. thus instead of going up to second service, jason and i skipped out and went to plaza sing to play arcade and we played guilty gear (which has hot characters) and metal slug 6 before going back to church.

okay i feel better having confessed. xD wonder if God will hold it against me for skipping out on church. >_> but it was fun, nonetheless! wish we'd taken neos too.

i have had a few new realizations over the past few days. allow me to list them out.

1) i do not actually give a shit about ass week. but because there is such a thing known as Good Results or rather, Passably Average Results, that need to be had, i will have to start my last ditch effort at mugging. thus far, i have mugged the subjects i like and have daoed those which i hate (hey there physics, hey there chem!). these subjects i hate are thus known as the CMI (cannot make it) subjects. now i just wish ass week would leave me alone to eat my snail buns and play sims2 and go out with Junyi.

2) you know your love life is pretty much non existent when the person you sms the most is your geog fieldwork report groupmate (hahah hello saniah, my email accounts hate you). and you moon over and try to figure out the meaning of a 5 word sms that technically means nothing at all. (from another person lah, not saniah -.-)

3) weddings of extended family members cost a lot of money. mostly cuz you need to buy dresses/bags/shoes/earrings to look good for their big day and you spend so much money that you feel that youre the one getting freaking married instead of them. and also, i want to look nice for my cousin's bride might just have cute age appropriate cousins who will keep me suitably entertained through the wedding. hopefully. >_>

4) CAP council reunions kill me. because i can never make it for any of them. thank you ass week, for ruining my life.

5) i want to train. i mean, really want to train. again, blame ass week.

6) i have reached the new realization that my new realizations are getting shorter and shorter so i shall like just go and play now and later seek redemption within my notes like the pseudo nj mugger toad i am.

byebye.

JUNYI DARLING IS BACK IN SINGAPORE MY LIFE IS LIKE BRILLIANT.

ROSES ARE RED
VIOLETS ARE BLUE
ALL MY BASE
ARE BELONG TO YOU

but yes today i went to go pick up Junyi dear at the airport (waited for half an hour, ele and wynne arrived just on time and ten minutes late, jeez there is no God! xP) and we went out for a well deserved afternoon out. it was a good excuse for a) not mugging and b) meeting up with ele and wynne, esp wynne whom i havent seen in quite a while.

WYNNE I WANT TO MARRY YOU AND HAVE YOUR BABIES LOVE YOU FOREVER AS A DEAR DEAR FRIEND AND WATCH YOU GROW UP, GET MARRIED AND HAVE BABIES.

okay enough with caps and weird declarations of love (especially since we're both straight but its always entertaining xD). but yes whenever wynne and i get together, i tend to get like that. wynne is very muchly adorable, we all want our own wynne! (kinda, lol)

an exchange between wynne and i:
me: -slings arm round wynne- soooo...hows your love life?
wynne: ...non existent?
me: -nods sagely- figured.

hahaha okay it doesnt look so funny here but there and then it was freaking funny lol. maybe one has to know wynne first before understanding.

and i spent lots of monies today, i am very muchly broke kthx.
1) June issue of EGM + cadbury for Junyi as a welcome back prez, approx $7
2) lunch, $4
3) icecream, $2.10
4) cookies, $4
5) Anne Rice's Pandora (im such a bookwhore), approx $17
6) OC Mix 1 soundtrack, approx $16

please calc all amounts and see why im dead broke and crying. (: using my calculator, its like $50.10 altogether. if you dont believe that, please calculate it for yourself. i have approx $4 left in my wallet now.

ele's cats are pretty cute and cool. but Junyi i am still faithful to your Twinkle okay! yay im beginning to like cats more and more cuz they dont smell bad (except when they do their crap) so maybe eventually ill get one of my own. still, ele's cats are pretty things and her room is nice after the new revamp.

ooh cool my mom just called me over into the room and told me about this chick who died after eating mentos and then drinking coke, cuz the two things reacted and her kidney exploded. i dont do carbonated drinks, but its still interesting to know yeah.

but anyways Junyi, im glad to have you back, really and truly, cuz i missed you tons aight! <3 so heres a shoutout to you that i lubdub you and this day will keep me happy for quite some time haha yay whee hooray. hearts you and we'll hang out soon okay! (:

Junyi!

is coming back to s'pore tomorrow!

my life is officially brilliant.
i heart you, dear <3
having you back is like awesome.

training today, i think my starts are improving. they feel better, somehow. despite the evil wind and everything making my timing drop but hey who cares cuz at least i can feel the improvement. (:

and erm i hate physics and chemistry and maths and even my own dear mother is like saying maybe i should drop math hahaha cuz i dont want an ugly C to destroy my A level cert, kthx. anyways life's been good, still miss CAP but at least the emoness is vaguely dissapating.

thanks to a new REdiscovery: SIMS2! <3 eh Junyi im mostly playing the pregame sims, they pretty fun actually. i heart Plesantville and i heart Strangetown but uhh KIDS ARE ANNOYING LAH useless bums and im not using any cheats are you proud of me? (: see you tomorrow, darling. (:

oh when i look back now
that summer seemed to last forever
and if i had the choice
yeah - i'd always wanna be there
those were the best days of my life.

i have Depeche Mode on permanent repeat on WMP. i used to have only one song (the one currently playing now) but my bro just downloaded a few more so yay more good old emo music. he dled two more. and they sound pretty good. but ive still got Blasphemous Rumours on repeat cuz boy is it emo. (:

think i need to get over this. hopefully itll last only til exam period and once that bitchshit is done with, maybe we can all get back to normal.

homework list
-LA consolidation (DO IT NOW ITS BLOODY OVERDUE)
-LA compre (also overdue, but cant find it so fux)
-HCL book review (due 16th, havent even bought/read the darn thing)
-geog fieldtrip report (due 16th too i think. but this one got hope)
-mug lah.
-...dont think theres any more right.
-OH YA. S Rajaratnam GS crap. this one is prolly gg. but im GS rep so i have to be good.

i am trying to chiong LA consolidation so can head to sch and hand it up and i need to do it TODAY cuz i sure as HELL am not going to get my ass to school tomorrow cuz today i have training and its just a longer trip, is all. 40 minutes left for me to finish it and get ready for trng AND get my ass to the bus stop, my life is brill let me go eat my ham sandwich first though.

i hate school i hate school i hate school. or rather i just hate science and maths i plan to drop their sorry asses in jc (maybe not math, depends on how im feeling at that point in time). any suggestions? well for me its either LGME GP or LGE KI, and for the former option theres still the whole H1-or-H2 mess to deal with. see first lah. but y'all can offer suggestions. (: hahaha.

Junyi is back on friday! yay.
okay after comparing my mood from the beginning of the post to the end of the post, i can safely say emo songs help my mood. (: partially cuz something corporate's konstantine is screaming out from my loudspeakers and much as its a beautiful song, the guy is such a loser lah please. its your fault you lost the girl, dickhead. theyll never hurt you like i do, indeed! like thats gonna get her back.

but its still a pretty song especially when he goes did you know i miss you 7 times. but i can emphathise with the girl anyhows. but then again i can also spell konfusion with a k and I CAN LIKE IT okay nvm that had no link whatsoever.

/rant.

35 mins left to do LA. balls lah.

it scares me how easy it is to slip out of the mugging mood and how hard it is to slip back in (though parental influence does help), but one thing good is that once youre in the mood and have the self discipline to carry through the first hour or so, you pretty much cant get out of it.

i have been attacking my math revision package for the past 2 hours.

mugging is boring, with just your questions and notes for company and everybody else in the bloody world is enjoying themselves (hey to you too, Del+Ying x_x haha). yet theres kind of a simplicity in mugging, an automaton kind of attitude.

mugging, as i have discovered over the past two weeks, makes one slide into emoness very very easily. it evokes a feeling of loneliness for one, being surrounded by notes and things that cant talk or whatever. and no one is on msn cuz theyre all out partying their (either metaphorical or not) balls off.

but well it gives me time to re-evaluate my social circle. like who's really there, and who's not. friends/classmates whom ive known over the past 4 to 7 years (long time no? maybe too goddamn long.) could turn out to be just big phonies who come running only when you get thrown together for some random event. otherwise, where the fuck are they? like, who the fuck are they? youre always gonna be lying at the bottom of their damn list. its like sudden realization, no?

yes i mean you lot.
aight tiff, calm down. says the voice in my head.

okay i refuse to bitch too much. its strange that those who know you less seem to care more. whoever said that absence makes the heart grow fonder ought to kiss my ass. or maybe the more you know the person, the more you think the person's gonna be there, and then thats when people start to...not care?

but i say, i say, it doesnt really matter. maybe one day ill disappear and live in a hovel in Paris where i dont know the language, surrounded by solitude and the mistaken comfort of muttered gibberish on every street corner.

after all, ive been down this road before.

/edit: training tomorrow. whack hard, cuz its all you have left.
soundtrack: Win by Brian McKnight.

i feel emo. sad emo, not angry emo. when im angry emo its easy to remedy it, just listen to Atreyu and etc but well now im sad emo and its strange really cuz i dont feel like doing anything. all i want to do is talk to people but well not a lot of people are online now. i cant blame them, sometimes its like im so clogged up with mugging (exams coming, wtf.) and juggling convos that its hard to pay attention to everyone so i guess this is karma haha.

sci fi next term for LA. should i just screw ass week for now, and go do my assignment? which is to watch or read a sci fi show/book and im choosing FF7: AC which ive done before but since i heart it so much i think ill do it again and well i can kinda emphathise with how Cloud feels now. though i still think hes a sad loser, but at least i can understand why he is a sad loser.

i think i need to believe in something, anything. the belief is gone, and it all comes down to uncertainty. perhaps i need to believe in idealism, in love, in the power that is destiny, assuming that actually exists.

suddenly its like im all alone. and maybe, just maybe, im accepting that, reveling in it, the feeling of solitude and despondency.

fuck (because i believe in self censorship) mugging. im outta here.
/wrist. x_x

okay i have been told by three different people that my last post made them feel sad. IM SORRY! but to make y'all feel better, the good news is that me and my darling boyfriend Canoeing have gotten back together and reconciled under the influence of certain external forces. so yeah, im back. (:

how much do i love Canoeing, my dearest darlingest boyfriend? enough to spend Valentine's Day with him. haha i think that pretty much tops the cake. but well Aiman gave his boat a rose, so i guess that kind of tops mine. xD

but yeah just a post to say yo to everyone and thanks for keeping my tagboard happy. Junyi is coming back soon, thats great and I MISS YOU DEAR! <33

am listening to Muse. not Starlight the ultimate cliche Muse song (though its still pretty awesome) but another Muse song. whee.

and eleanor lim (if she should ever visit) is forbidden from ever telling anybody about my secret fangirl target alright! prolly cuz ill get over myself before long (: Junyi dear we must get together and just talk and talk once you get your ass back so i have six months worth of news and gossips to update you on. though i think now im rather...sedate. which is a good thing aight. not so much shizz in my life.

mike wee is in london. die. x_x

and i think my mother is crazy. shes so weird at times. she gets pissed and nags like mad, but i still heart her to bits cuz she is so cute when shes not being pissed/naggy. i mean, which mother calls her daughter "asshole" in a loving manner? (no dont tell her i told you, she'd be mortified) and she rawrs along with me!

me: -jumps out from random corner with "claws" outstretched- RAWR.
mom: -imitates- RAWR. -hisses like a cat-

yepp mom i love you too (: sadly shes not like that in public, only at home hahaha.

regarding Canoeing, i have been hovering at the same timing for far too long. 2 months in fact. i need to get my ass up and just break it. break it! break the barrier. gg tiff!

A Break Up Letter Fashioned Especially For What Was Once The Ultimate Love Of My Life
(written in perfect english too)

Dear Canoeing,

I don't want to get too much into things now, but I just want to tell you that you were both the best and worst thing that had ever happened to me. When we started out, it was a perfect honeymoon, but now as time goes on it has gradually soured. Perhaps it was the fault of both of us, for letting things drag on this long.

Whatever it is, I just wanted to say that I loved you. No matter what, I will always love you. Now that the once perfect love affair is over, I would also like to express gratitude for everything you have given me and all the memories. Parting is definitely the right way to go, I don't think I could've lived that much longer with you by my side. I did not have the right time management for it, and you were demanding to an extent.

You were the best I ever had. I don't think I will ever have that same feeling ever when I'm speeding across the reservoirs with you, the two of us together. Once I thought maybe we'd be forever, but I guess things change.

To end off, I have had regrets regarding you. But it's over now, and somehow I'm glad it is. I leave lyrics for you.
There's one thing I have to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted,I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save.

I love you, always.
Tiffany
NJC canoeist
28th October 2005 til 5th June 2007

[del] :: leavenrime :: a horizon of hope says:
and ok if he IS single then i will consider

YING,PLEASE TAKE NOTE AND MAKE APPROPRIATE STEPS IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION i will help you whenever needed kthx. (:

remember del, this is All For Your Own Good. xDDD
and plus hes cute lor.

matchmakers tiffying at work! (((:

HELLO FOLKS, LIKE I PROMISED! CAP pictures are up! and boy, are we bimbos. closet bimbos. but yes, its over dear CAPpers and councillors, and i loved it while it lasted so heres a big squee to everyone from 07 esp my lovely council people cuz you all are awesome!

i cant begin to say what a great experience CAP was, as it always is, and im totally into my withdrawal symptoms now. like last year. but well, thanks for the great memories and i love you all long time!
judith lam and i!
sam and i, we're doing the titanic IM FLYING scene, which explains the weird Jack look on her face and well her hands are on my waist though thou cannot see.
tiff, david crawshaw and athena.
GLENDON KOK. i love food, thus indirectly i also love the guy (and girls, yes sutha and haslina) in charge of food.
glendon has nice hair. random me.