Hey all, its yr once again, promised a post for dear.

Being a violinist myself, music forms a substantial aread of my life. It provides me with the wings to soar, the ability to go beyond the limitations of language. What captivates my heart is not the music itself, it is the spirit and the thought behind it.

The slavic tradition of music reflects a certain embracement of melacholy, even to the point of celebrating it. Tchaikovsky's violin concerto certainly embodifies such a quality. The lovely melodies that is woven into the fabric of a pleathora of emotions makes a listening session of it a tour de force for many.

What is less known is the emotions of tchaikovsky as he composed this piece of bittersweet music. Tchaikovsky was arranged to be married to a student of his in an attempt to mask his homosexual tendecies. In his exact words, "I found my student, now my wife to be revolting!"
In a last bid to reach out to the last vestiges of his sanity, tchaikovsky went travelling out of russia. It was at Clarens, Switzerland, that he found his peace. Tchaikovsky cries in his music, the true musician evokes that very emotion in his audience as the violin soars above, a celebration of love, and coming down to a whisper, reflecting the hopelessness of love never found.

As painful as tchaikovsky's journey may be, it all boiled down to finding that someone. That someone whom you can talk to, joke to, cry to and look to for comfort, for love, for security and for assurance.

You may accuse me of trivialing this issue, while others many lambast me for being skeptical about this, but i truly believe that we are gravitated to the search for love.

Hugh Hefner?Hitler? Why such a strong need for power, for domination? May i suggest that our attempts at materialism(not the philosophical term) simple is a means to an end:Love.

The world's greatest poets have written about love, philosophers intellectualize love, economist attach quantifiable values to love, the musician's music soars with love, the emptiness that we face from time to time craves for love.

It wasn't easy for the both of us after that perfect day. We had to come back and we had to face each other and there was the need to be honest, even to the point of brutal honesty with each other. I think that the more one loves a person, the greater the disappointment in that person would be. I'm glad we pulled through, I'm glad we gave each other a chance to rediscover that which made us fell for each other again.

What does love entail? Let us not think about love, rather, lets feel it, embrace it, throw ourselves in our most vulnerable selfs to it:

Before I loved you, Love, nothing was my own;
I wavered through the streets, among objects:
nothing mattered or had a name:
the world was made of air, which waited.

I knew rooms full of ashes,
tunnels where the moon lived,
rough warehouses that growled Get lost,
questions that insisted in the sand.

Everything was empty, dead, mute,
fallen, abandoned, and decayed:
inconceivably alien, it all

belonged to someone else-to no one:
till your beauty and your poverty
filled the autumn plentiful with gifts.

Did he find love or love found him? The lonliness that was all around him. threatening to engulf him. It was always someone else, others who had love. Truly, it is "till your beauty and your poverty filled the autumn plentiful with gifts.

Isn't this against logic? How can "your poverty" fill the autumn plentiful with gifts? How can the poor give? I think this is the real quintessence of love! Love necessitates that one gives IN SPITE OF all. I have learnt that for myself.

There are days when i doubt, there are days where i despair. Yet what keeps me going is love, a commitment, a responsibility, a choice. I'm glad we made it so far, though not long, it leaves a lifetime of memories. Thank you for the memories. May we one day be privileged to share them with our grandkids.

Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart.

I love you my dear...

i was bumming around yesterday and got lazy, before feeling guilty that so many people were blogging about pre u sem (or at least mentioning it) that i felt bound to do so as well. but being the lazy arse i am, i foisted the job of blogging off onto my darling. who did a fantastic job of course, as you all can see from below. (thanks dear)

I SHOULD BE STUDYING.
(instead im blogging)

rides kinda suck. sad me. cant help but compare to anyway now that hes off for his job attachment at some law firm place, hes making me blog for him now. awww. so yes this post is for my baby. anyway, today has been dead boring though i got some decent sleep. missing the six meals at pre u sem but hey at least the weight thing wont come up too often yeah. yesterday was fantastic though i think ive lost my taste for adrenaline pumping shiz, used be be a lot more adventurous about one or two years ago. now whenever i take spinny rides, i get dizzy. crap. but at least the fun swingy ones were alright. though escape'skorea's rides. and yea the haunted house suckkkks i cant believe i got coerced into going in. hatez you baby. im never going in again. ever. ever. everrrrr.

I SHOULD BE STUDYING.
(instead im slacking)

the double bike ride after was fun though dear said he'd do most of the work and he didnt, the bum. and yeah the daredevil stunts we tried turned out pretty well if i do say so myself. x) in completely separate news, the sausages im eating now taste kinda funny. think ill ditch them. yeah im eating sausages for lunch again, against dear's express orders not to do so. sorry baby. im too lazy to do downstairs and too lazy to cook something decent and i want to save money so well im just gonna have to do the instant food thing. hahaaa.

I SHOULD BE STUDYING.
(but im eating)

am glad junyi baby is coming back on the 12th this month, thats like 10 days away! missed junyi terribly, havent seen my babe for the past six months. which is a damn long time, the same time that ive been in acjc. hahaha. cant waitttt. 8pm-ish at the airport, ill be there directly after imun. which im not really looking forward to, seems to involve a lot more work that i previously thought it would involve. damn. workworkwork.

I SHOULD BE STUDYING.
(instead im bumming on msn gossip)

okay ill bum a little longer than no choice, studying it has has has to be. lubbb baby, so well yeah see you later at like 10pm you crazy thing. youre too busy for your own good. kk bb.

Hey everyone, its yr here again, blogging on behalf of dear.

It's been a great start to the holidays and i'm sure dear would agree to that. She was off to pre u sem while I stayed in civilization to admire the intricacies of the world around me. Really glad for her, the stories that she told me, the great friends that she has made over there. I really believe that friends stick through thick and thin, though finding such friends and the process of friendship building is perhaps, something that is lacking today? Given the superficial attachments of our perception of friends, the demarcation of aquaintances and friends has to be made clearer. I'ms ure you made great friends there didnt you dear?

On the other hand, it was a good time for me(minus the huge longings in the absence of dear). Spent my time reading and reflecting and catching up on some well deserved rest. If there is one thing in the week that i'm thankful for, it is the opportunity to serve in the beach conservation camp. I have come to the realisation that the intrinsic perception of life is not getting me very far ahead. Maybe its time to venture out of the creature comforts that i'm accustomed to and begin to live my life for worthy causes? If there is one cause i find worth fighting for, it is the preservation of our environment. While the protection of environment may be pivotal to the survival of mankind (perharps a conspiracy theory altogether), i seek out the implicit aesthetical aspects of the environment. Kant's theory of sublime beauty?

"absence makes the heart grow fonder". Many dismiss this line as cliche, but today, allow me to be the "defence" for this notion. I think that the originator of this line has great wisdom, that he is able to point out that in the absence of something, the absence is made know, magnified and amplified. This reminds me of another line altogether "Men are like june when wooing, December when they have the girl". Men are like spring, full of sweetness and whatnot when in the process of courtship, but once they have the lady, they begin to be like december, the dark winter. Do we really need this to remind us to treasure what is before us?

For me, I did not see dear for 8 days. You may dismiss me as being overly emotional, but i stand on to the fact that i missed her very much. When i saw her in school everyday before the holidays, there were days where i did not treasure her and may have even subconsciously taken her for granted. Does my learning curve necessitate the absence of her presence to enlighten me that i should love her all the time? Food for thought.

Off to sunday. Today i'm playing the role of the "wise old sage" so here's another line "Every cloud has a silver lining". Our friends couldnt make it(not blaming you lovely people, in retrospect that is) and thus we had all the time to ourselves.

First to Escape theme park. It was raining and of all umbrellas i have, i had to choose one that was half spoilt. Ended up lowering myself so as to shelter dear. Before we went into escape, there was this little puddle of water. That was my first instance of my PHYSICAL TRAINING FOR THE DAY! Carried dear and went into escape.

Into escape we went. Well just as any normal couple, it was photo time! The usual, funny faces, along with some other new "images" that dear had to impose on me. Once the rain cleared, our first ride was the rainbow. It was thrilling, yet if that was the best that the park had to offer, wont it be a little sad? Monopolised the mini roller coaster that was meant for families and screamed for the sake of screaming. The vitagen ride was quite fun too, had to answer an sms while certain body parts were being tortured by the sun. I have to say(gleeful smile) that the haunted house was quite a good experience, dear hated me for bringing her in! I really think that in light of tourism, perhaps this necessitates a new theme park or one with more attractions with more thrills for adrenline junkies like us!

Came out of escape, decided to go for cycling. Well, the bike ride reflected how unfit the both of us were. WE BROKE A FEW RECORDS! Lets just say we experimented with certain "daredevil acts" and pulled them off quite well? Went to a quiet spot and had a great time relaxing and enjoying each other's company.

Leaving behind downtown east and escape, we made our way to pasir ris farmway 2 to visit some cute poodles and dogs. A silly mistake on my part saw us both having to go to sengkang and taking the bus back to where we were supposed to alight. Thankfully the bus came pretty fast so there wasnt much waiting time involved.

The walk into pasir ris farmway 2 is really really far! If you're going there next time, may i suggest some form of transportation other than your own legs? Drive in, or get a really nice guy to go with you who would CARRY YOU ON HIS BACK. That was physical training part 2, had to carry dear on my back and walked for a stretch of road. Its good training for ns, so no one is complaining!

The dogs are really adorable. Many sticked out their tongues and jumped in excitement of our presence. I think its a little sad, considering that their very existence is predicated on their looks, talk about superficiality? We then went to a farm with much area set aside for dogs to run around. Allow me to suggest that the reason that we're humans is due to our rationale and our ability of self control. Well, we were treated to a show of raw animal instincts that was pretty neandethal in nature, shant go into details.

Dinner was quite a normal affair, ipoh hor fun and wanton noodles at a noodle shop. This was followed by some intimate time with dear, enjoying her company and her presence.

If there is one thing i realised, it is not the activities that one do, its the company that one does activities with. Today was actually a mundane day if we considered the program, but the 2 of us made it magical for each other. I really treasure dear here and yes, if i sound like a real old nag, please accept my apologies.

In the course of these few months, i have discovered for myself different facades that i have, some of which were never apparent to me. Today's post is written in a tone that is pretty foreign to me, content which is not familiar to me. I have chosen to take this on for the simple reasonL when i'm with my dear, i dont want to complicate things or do analysis into us. I want to just enjoy her company. Perhaps this is another side to me, another style altogether. Whatever may be the case, dear, I'm thankful that you're here and that you have coaxed out this side of me. Cheers to our relationship. Hugs.