what i really do at work in my free time when i'm not teaching/marking/eating/being busy. this is a very rare moment (: figured might as well use the webcam on the computer for something useful!

i look so unglam but who cares (: we're twenty hours & a few time zones apart but hey, technology rocks!

Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her
Christopher Brennan

If questioning would make us wise
No eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
If all our tale were told in speech
No mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh
And love not bound in hearts of flesh
No aching breasts would yearn to meet
And find their ecstasy complete.

For who is there that lives and knows
The secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
To thrill and faint and sweetly bleed?

Then seek not, sweet, the "If" and "Why"
I love you now until I die.
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.

Julien: You know, there were a lot of things I was game for that you never said.
Sophie: Like?
Julien: Eating ants. Insulting the unemployed. Loving you like crazy.

When I no longer have your heart
I will not request your body
your presence
or even your polite conversation.
I will go away to a far country
separated from you by the sea
-- on which I cannot walk --
and refrain even from sending
letters
describing my pain.

-Alice Walker

hiatus from tonight until the 24th of april, next saturday! will be away in europe (frankfurt/amsterdam/brussels/paris)! so if you want me to fed-ex you a hot european boy/girl, please drop me a text stating your preferred nationality hahahahaha :D

have gotten into SMU, very happifying. at least now i can reject NUS in peace, and know that i am going to university for sure! also have been watching Mind Your Language obsessively on youtube, i have to stop this soon ahahaha.

i'm sure many people will have read the newspapers over the weekend, and seen the news about the singaporean youth who had a jetski accident in phuket. thing is, he's my njc canoeing senior whom i have not seen since i transferred to acjc. it gave me the shock of my life to receive the facebook event invite to pray for him, and for the newspapers to be splashed with his visage two days later.

he passed away yesterday, in the wee hours of the morning. no one deserves to die when they're 20 going on 21, and i'm honestly so so stunned. rest in peace, ying jie. i never really talked to you much, but you were always an amazingly hard worker and i'm sure that you're in a better place now.

so tonight i will be praying for his family, his relatives, his friends and all those who knew him. especially his family because they must be having the worst time of their lives right now. and i will also be praying for the friend who collided into him (i don't know who it is, but i do recognise the group of guys who went with him to phuket) because the friend must be feeling such guilt right now, and its something that can't ever be erased. please bless all of them, dear God.

every drop of blood; heart and soul, go the distance.

/edit: i wonder why people say such amazing things about someone after they've died. wouldn't it have been better to say it while they were still alive instead? new resolution, guys: tell everyone you're close to how much they mean to you, because one day they might not be there anymore.

"I don't know, dear. You know that 'Build-A-Bear Workshop' place they have at the mall, where kids can build their own teddy bears? I feel like I walked into one of those places, only it was a 'Build-A-Man Workshop', and I got to pick out everything I wanted and stuff it into the perfect guy for me. And that's you."

Another sappy quote pulled out from the recesses of the brain.

i wanna be your last, first kiss
that you'll ever have (that you'll ever have)
i wanna be your last, first love (that you'll ever have)
till you're lying here beside me with arms and eyes open wide
i wanna be your last, first kiss for all time.

had such a great weekend, i couldn't wait for it because the past two weekends i had to wake up early on saturday which is usually my sleep-in day. spent friday night with the newly POP-ed paul, as we hung out around the dhoby ghaut area and nom-ed on the new cheesy cornflake pizza thing at pizza hut. step one in tiff's gain weight programme! i've been losing weight non-stop since A Levels period. i'm not even heavy enough to donate blood now >.<

we stared at hamsters ('but they eat their kids!' - p.chuan) and ate dessert at ice monster and roamed around orchard central, going up to the rooftop garden and settling down at our usual spot and talked tons. it was really comfortable and really happifying. i had really missed paul (: here's a funny excerpt of our conversation. (actually he said many silly things but i can't write them all down hahaha)

me: hey paul can i ask you a question?
paul: i knew this was coming!
me: huh?
paul: its a question about boys right?
me: ... (damn it.)
paul: HURRY UP LAH. aiyoh how many boys do you have, man?

paul: you're not my girlfriend, you're my BOYFRIEND.

me: HUG THE SHEEP BAG.
paul: *hugs sheep bag* stupid thing.

saturday evening was spent at novena with nush and cheryl, we ate so so so so sooo much it was disgusting. japanese restaurant first, then we headed to udders and requested for a separate waffle with two scoops of ice cream but when it came, everything was put together so they kindly gave us another waffle! now nush and cheryl want to go ice cream eating with me always because we get free waffles hahaha! (i just happen not to like eating waffles with ice cream, i like them separately. its a me thing.)

been talking to qx almost everyday on msn now, despite the 12 hour time difference. its nice to accompany him as he does his homework/mugging, and its always good to have company as i'm doing my marking (: gonna ask him to teach me how to double/triple integrate when he's back in july! just for the fun of it. i highly doubt i'll ever use it, but it'll be semi-fun to learn i guess (: we're visiting universal studios when he's back too omg i seriously can't wait.

bopping out to westlife now! the song's beyond sappy but hey, that's kind of what makes it good right? (: damn panicked about thursday morning nowww. but can't wait for thursday night! do i make sense? of course i do (:

Mark Cohen said in Rent, "The opposite of war isn't peace, it's creation."
I'm starting to think that, well, the opposite of love isn't hate. It's apathy.

had an amazing four hours at universal studios on tuesday night with wynne, thanks to dad's staff event. although they only opened three rides; shrek 4D, enchanted airways (its this junior rollercoaster) and the revenge of the mummy (an indoor rollercoaster).

so wynne and i trotted in, watched the action at waterworld before going to shrek 4D, which was quite cute, and then we went to the junior rollercoaster which was rather fun cuz we were fake screaming for the benefit of the little boy in the carriage behind us, and raising our arms like jokers through the whole ride. afterwards we went to nom on way expensive food, thank goodness for the food voucher though. went to revenge of the mummy, though admittedly both of us were a bit reluctant cuz our overactive imaginations thought it would be the scariest shit on earth. plus we had both just eaten so we were a bit afraid of hurling, since its apparently a high speed coaster with many sharp turns etc. also, its indoors and its almost pitch dark.

well, the first time was funny because we were so scared that we closed our eyes and held hands through the entire ride and screamed like ninnies. then we got off, decided it was awesome, and went again on the coaster a second time after resting for ten minutes (to make sure we wouldn't hurl). this time we opened our eyes, and still screamed like ninnies (: apparently they take a pic of you halfway through the ride and we looked so unglam with mouths wide open and eyes squinched. can't beat this guy in the second picture though (on the second time we went). he was in the front row and when the camera flashed, he was huddled down on his friend next to him, with his finger in his ear. yes, a dude. i was like omg haha what a loser.

wednesday i took leave to take care of my responsibilities, sigh. then went for driving yay. i'm more or less done with the driving syllabus, all i need to do now is learn how to park and parallel park before i practice like mad and then can go for test already wheee. should take erm, another month or two? hopefully. and today was such a stressful day, my sec 4s were lovely though albeit rather quiet. gave them an excerpt from a wrinkle in time, one of my favourite books of all time. stressed out like mad with felicia, freaked out on qx via msn, had a good chat with jianwen, spazzed out some more via phone on nush and hwee, and then went home to crash. all in all, a stressful Maundy Thursday. but nonetheless, its Good Friday tomorrow and all will be okay. there is always light at the end of the tunnel, and despite everything i know that God will guide me. i've gotta thank qx for being such a dear, he's been there for me and offers to help when i'm at my most frazzled. all this despite the fact that he's stressed out himself, what with having to get good grades at university to keep his scholarship, whacking to get his degree in three years, and also being a twenty hour flight away. i really really appreciate him <3 he's one of the greatest friends a girl could have.

rolling off now. whatever shall i do tonight? (: