Down on the lake rosy reflections of celestial vapor appeared, and I said, "God, I love you" and looked to the sky and really meant it. "I have fallen in love with you, God. Take care of us all, one way or the other." To the children and the innocent it's all the same.

- Jack Kerouac

i've had this blog for 6 years and 719 posts. i used to put every single little thing i did down, and now it's like perhaps i'd rather keep it to myself. and even if i don't, there's always facebook and twitter for me to broadcast what i feel.

i'm thinking of changing to livejournal or tumblr or just closing down this blog permanently. i think it would hurt me a little too much though.

GOING OVERSEAS FOR STUDIES IS SUPER DUPER EGGSPENSIVEEEE. EVEN WITH THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE IN TOWN.

purchases of the week, with approx prices
- one down feather jacket, $160 (original price $199)
- one mini rice cooker, $70 (original price $78)
- two sets of long johns, $146 (original price $194)
- one set of bedsheets, $29 (original price $99)
- one toshiba laptop, $1400

not to mention i still have a ton of crap to buy, such as stationery, an alarm clock, and my new year's supply of contact lenses. AND MORE. but i just can't think right now. tomorrow, i go stationery shopping, and to pick up a cookbook. bah. looks like the pre-departure allowance of $2.8k isn't going to be enough, grah. why why why doesn't my university provide catered fooood D: now i have to cook every damn meal myself. i'm totally relying on yoghurt bars and milk for future brekkies.

WHY ISN'T ANYONE ELSE GOING OVERSEAS FOR STUDIES PANICKING LIKE I AM?

well, its amazing how much things change in nine days. i got the scholarship, accepted the scholarship, met a dozen new people, got used to the cold, discovered responsibility, discovered maternal instincts, found my chinese speaking abilities again, got swept up with the whirl of things, fell in love.

admittedly, the last point is kind of moot, because i fell in love with y-lynn's cats, but there you go. though there is a certain friend of hers who is terribly cute but i won't say anything here.

it feels somehow that i have changed, irrevocably, in just nine days. am i being dramatic? or is this really true? i wonder if being overseas, sans parents, does do things to you. and i wonder how much more things will change when i go to the UK in september. i only realised this as i trawled the streets of shanghai, clutching my (authentic) longchamp bag tightly in one arm and grabbing wynne with the other (she tends to wander off).

hello responsibility. its here to stay.