-title of blog post to be sung to the tune of the happy tree friends intro-

drank green tea last night.
went to bed at 5am.
could not bloody sleep til 6:30am.
missed 9am lecture.
woke up at 10am with pounding headache.
went back to bed and slept til 12pm.
woke up again, still with headache.
popped two panadol and went for spanish at 1pm.
stoned through spanish, got regular macchiato during break.
ZWOOP! :D :D :D
eggcited, got a grande flavoured latte after class.
now officially on a coffee high.
essay at 2360 words, time to stick in references and i am done done done and am free to go to the traffic light party tonight!!!

now i remember why i overdosed on coffee during my A level prep period. havent been drinking much coffee at all since A Levels ended so basically it was just like i had drunk coffee again ater a really really long time. and woah, are the effects so much more potent than before O_O
ESSAY ESSAY ESSAY TIMEZ NAO YAAAAAY.

(panadol plus alcohol dont mix. alcohol and coffee are okay together. i took panadol then coffee and then will be taking alcohol later. hope the panadol doesn't screw up anything lol. >_<)

two things i really hate:-
1) agonising if i should say something or not, leaning towards not saying it, deciding after a long while to say it in a fit of bravado (because i rationalise that hey, life is nothing without risks) and then getting a reply and regretting saying it.
2) being put on the spot, not being able to say anything, walking out of the room and then realising that suddenly i have tons of things to say.

sometimes i question my intelligence. (or obvious lack thereof.)

it is Tuesday evening, 8pm.
Pop is on Wednesday evening, 7pm.
Essay is due Thursday afternoon, 2pm.
1400/2500 words currently.
no rest tonight, let's go.

(dammit i am just aiming to get over 2000 words i don't care >.<)

/EDIT:-
10pm: we have 1.6k words. this is moving rather slowly...
11pm: we have 1.7k words, but i had to finish spanish homework for tomorrow...
11:40pm: i am taking a break for supper, dammit.
12:20am: we have 1.8k words, a full tummy, & i am going to take a shower.
1:40am: we have 1.9k words, some procrastination & a nice smelling tiff.
2:30am: 2k words and some green tea.
3am: 2.2k words, i don't care i'm just about done with this.
okay i am going to stop updating now hahaha essay is more or less done la (:

sonali and i spent some time today bitching about our IRM essays due on thursday. both of us are approximately at the same mark (which is the halfway mark). out of 2500 words, she has about 800 and i have about 900 (as of earlier today of course). so i saw on FB that she was like $#@! about it so i wrote a comment trying to cheer her up. i mean, monday was totally miserable, and tuesday will be miserable, as will wednesday, but hey i fully intend to finish the thing before Pop on wednesday dammit. so tuesday will be the worst day of my life.

all the same, that leaves everyone with about two days to finish their essay.

then i saw someone just post on sonali's status, that she hadn't even started.
hadn't. even. started.
good luck to you, whoever you are.
and i have hope again (;
ah, sweet schadenfreude.

having fun in school, as usual. being stressed by work too, but that's no biggie. have usually learnt that things will work out for the best in the future. but somehow recently i've been feeling slightly disjoint and dislocated.

i haven't been spending as much time with the singaporeans as before. i've definitely been spending more time with the canoe people. like all the time out i spent last week was with canoe people. same thing for the week ahead, not going out at all until Pop on wednesday with canoe and london on friday. and even if i'm not partying, my evenings might be spent going to canoe sessions at the pool or whatever. it's gotten to the point that i see pictures on facebook and status updates from fellow singaporeans in school and they're having fun with each other, and i'm thinking BO JIO and feel slightly left out.

i definitely don't feel british, most certainly not. but then again sometimes i don't really feel very singaporean either. i just feel...displaced. like when i walked into a bar full of white people on frida night with not an asian face in sight, i felt perfectly normal. i didn't feel like i belonged (most of them are middle aged white people), but i didn't feel uncomfortable about it.

and sometimes...i do wonder who i am going to live with next year when i have to move offcampus. am i close enough to the canoe people that i would want to live with them for an entire year or maybe even two? i'm sure they have their own friends whom they might want to live with. am i going to even factor into any singaporeans' plans?

when i was at notts games, the sheer singaporeanness of the event just swallowed me whole. i just walked in, and felt swallowed up by everybody. it was like i was a stranger in a strange land. sometimes i feel like that in britain too, occasionally. and i wonder if i fit in anywhere at all. i am not british, far from it. but i wonder how singaporean i am now. this feeling kind of worries me a little, ad it hit home when i saw all the pictures and status updates and well, when was the last time i talked to/texted these people anyway? and when i do text them or when they text me, i find people making plans and me not knowing anything about them. it sucks, and perhaps it is my own fault for being so distant and elusive of late, but i guess thats what we have phones for right.

guess i have to make a decision now. stick to what is safe and familiar, or try something new which might fizzle out and i might end up losing what was safe and familiar. safe and familiar is nice sometimes. and we only have twenty four hours a day. sigh.

...i just sneezed and dropped my iphone. sian emo.

back from pub golf. remind me to try not to play it again, it toally wrecks you. i quit halfway at around pub 5 or 6 (out of 10) because i just couldn't take it anymore. and it always is a pity to chug a perfectly good glass of white wine. not that i'm any good at chugging. crashed at greg's, though it was hard enough dragging his wasted self out of kelseys. thank goodness for nick.

anyway saw this online and snickered out loud to myself. wait long long please.
(ignore the annoying tabs on my firefox. that is me working on my essay.)

work is piling in now and i'm getting more stressed cuz there is almost no time to slack! haha fail attempt at time management. but all the same i'm sure things will work out...hopefully. had first spanish test and got 45/50 so that's good i suppose? have made a timetable of work for the weeks ahead.

next monday: world pol assignment due
next tues: IRM presentation due & spanish grammar test (also homework due)
next wed: TRAFFIC LIGHT PARTY (LOL)
next thurs: IRM essay due (2.5k words wtf)
next fri: LONDON LONDON LONDON for the weekend!
next next tues: spanish reading and writing test
next next fri: world pol essay (another 2.5k words) due

sadface ):
emo ):
essays ):
presentations ):
tests ):

looking forward to the four weeks of holiday! only that well, it'll be freezing cold in good old England. ice skating with the girls in about two hours, so i'd best do some reading/essay structuring before that.

also, there's something going on here with us, but...please don't fall in love with me.

had a crazy reading week, so after today i have vowed that i will not party for quite some time. enough is enough, i have work to do, and i need to remember that i am here in school to do work/study and not just to play and have fun. no partying, no drinking, just workworkwork. i can do this. yes. it's about time i started remembering my responsibilities.

also, happy birthday mom (:

back from the mighty tyne tour 2010! photos on facebook and gosh was it the most amazing experience of the year. not so much cuz of the tyne rowing (honestly rowing down the tees was more exciting -- the photos on fb are the ones of me going down the tees) but cuz of the ceilidh we went to on saturday night. it was full of gaelic music and folk dancing (: and i danced so much that my calves ached like heck the day after, and even now. and of course everyone drank like fishes, but i managed to stay pretty sober thankfully.

which kind of failed last night (monday night) when daniel, kingsley and their mexican friend randomly decided to come to warwick in the middle of the evening. they got here about 9pm ish, and then ivan/dan/me headed to manic monday which was a bit dead tbh, so it wasn't too exciting. got pretty high/drunk and ended up doing stupid things again.

you know i think i really need to stop doing this kind of shit. in retrospect, it's not really healthy. doing it every now and then is okay, but now that i'm doing it for the fourth time it's starting to get a bit sian. (okay i just looked back on what i typed and in my attempts to be cryptic, i jst realised what i typed looks worse than what actually happened hahaha. i assure you, it's not as bad as it sounds...?)

let daniel crash in my room in my sleeping bag before he trotted off back to london at freaking 7am in the morning. dinner's cooking in the rice cooker and i'm sitting here thinking i ought to get started on my essays due in two weeks/three weeks sigh ):

Amazing quote stolen off Facebook...

Mulan is the best Disney princess. She joined the army, made everyone think she was a guy, made the captain think he was gay, totally defeated the Huns and saved China. All Sleeping Beauty did was wake up.

I love Mulan, she's my favourite (: How true.
Okay now back to work until the procrastination monster bites me again!

wow. just...wow.