so i've been twenty for a day or so and i don't feel it yet. ffs.

woke up, went for my single lesson today, had lunch at the bread oven then came back to skype the 'rents, who are kindly sending over a singpost box for my birthday!

(got interrupted by /someone/ coming into my room <3)

well after that i went to costcutters in my oversized hoodie and messy ponytail to mail yeehui's bday prezzie to her. suffice it to say postage is almost as expensive as the damn book. then the guy (who called me darling... not that that's gonna induce me to spend more at the post office) tried to get me to spend like TWICE the amount to send the book via Express as compared to Normal. yes, i know it arrives in 4 days as compared to 2 weeks, but i assure you i can wait. plus the hweester's birthday is in about 2 weeks anyway. yes i also know that if i pay twice the amount i can track the mail... but i'm sure it'll be fine whether i track it or not because i've never lost a postcard/envelope/letter/parcel whether it coming to or from the uk. so yes we're running on hope here.

hweester if you're reading this (and i know you are), let me know once you get the parcel. it should arrive in about 2 weeks ^_^ okay time to hit my presentation, wash the dishes and then get a nice shower before hopping up to the boy's room for some supper & snuggles hopefully. (if he's not too busy thwacking math into submission.)

i find that sudden bouts of loneliness tend to come the most often when i am surrounded with a large amount of people. i don't know where i fit in, and i don't know if i ever will.
sometimes the people you click the most with may not necessarily have the same coloured skin as you do. and sometimes, the people who have the same coloured skin as you do, may be completely different people underneath all that.
i feel disjoint both here and there. i want to go home. i want to stay here.

why am i blogging so emo-ly?

jumbled thoughts, and dazed wanderings (god this is going to be such a convoluted post);
i'm flying high, then i'm wondering why i'm sinking on this ship going down.

it ranges from the (comparatively) mundane;
because you make me eat well, even when i can't be arsed.
because you surprise me with thoughtful everyday gestures
because you kiss me good morning and good night and good bye (and hello too)
because you actually moisturise
because you believe in snuggling too
because of the necklace

(and then we get lyrical)
because we got a little world of our own
because i tell you things that no one else knows
because there is a drawer of my things at your place
because i can't sleep til you're next to me
because you look at me like maybe i am magic, and--

because you tell me i am beautiful, and (just for that instant),
i believe you.




need to pull myself together, it's only been like a month and i'm falling and falling fast. guess this gives a whole new meaning to whirlwind romance.

noticed rather belatedly that i tend to come back from holidays on the days of my exes' birthdays. happened in france, when i arrived back on 18th dec 2010 (kenny's 21st birthday) and then i just realised i got back from malaga, spain on 7th jan 2011 (david's 21st birthday). how funny, and what a coincidence. hurrrr.

why am i even still remembering their birthdays?!
anyway you're coming back tomorrow. i cannot wait for you to be home (:

I AM SORRY TO ALL MY FAITHFUL READERS AKA STALKERS THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN POSTING LATELY. MY MONTH HAS BEEN, TO PUT IT KINDLY, DAMN EPIC. spent a week in france skiing, before getting stranded because london luton airport shut down and then having this amazing adventure trying to find our way home, and then a week in slovakia and austria, and another week in malaga, spain, with some time in london interspersed in between and of course, taking in the amazing fireworks at the london eye. have grown so much closer to the people in london, especially the mindef peeps. they have honestly become like family to me. also if there is one thing that i have learnt after this month, it's that a lot can change in one month; be it feelings or attitudes or worldviews. (what a telltale statement.) i'm looking forward to going back to school armed with my new resolutions and my new ideals. this is, of course, just a post to whet you readers' appetites and i am going to bed now after an arduous day of moving rooms. will post more next time.

p.s happy 25th birthday tim! <3 you've got your oddities and idiosyncrasies but you're still my brother so i have to put up with you hahahahaha (: