it is a difficult epiphany that has recently struck me: I cannot think of anyone in this entire country (uk) whom I can call if I am in trouble/need someone to talk to and listen in the wee hours of the morning. this thought struck me last night, as I was up at some insane hour being sad about some nonsense. it is difficult for me to talk to the people here due to the general gossipmongering culture amongst singaporeans, and honestly I just can't find anyone who will appreciate bring woken up at 3am to listen to me whine/rant. in fact, the last time I felt this way, poor hwee had to call me at 6am (ok fine it was 1am her time which wasn't so bad) to listen, all the way from amrika. it is difficult to recognise that one does not know the true meaning of loneliness until one is surrounded by a zillion nameless faceless people but with not one person in the vicinity to reach out to and talk with. I suppose out of everything fun here, this has to be the most damning post on life here in the uk.

I wonder if it's me, like is it my nature to keep a small group of close friends with no room for expansion? is it easy for me to get to know people but harder for me to bring that to a deeper, non superficial level? it's probably the case that I find it almost impossible to really truly click with people in a deeper, almost intrinsic level, and in the end it peters out to either the level of decent friend, friend or acquaintance and that's that.

my wish for 2011 is that I can find friends whom I can connect with, even at 3am. not to say the ones j have now are lacking or insufficient, but come on. I wouldnt call them at 3am to whine. now it's time to evaluate: am I the sort of friend who people would call at 3am if they needed help or a listening ear?

this is an amazing show of tenacity. I just typed this entire blogpost on my iPhone. lol.

hi it's been a while hasn't it? anyway nothing's really been up, hence my lack of bloggage. if that is even a word... but all the same i fear life has been kind of mundane lately. nothing's really exciting, the slog has begun, and the occasional pub crawls and kebab chowing (though kebabs are an awesome thing) are kind of getting normal. yes, we have officially reached a plateau.

now it's not like i'm bored of the uk. i'm mostly definitely not, and i doubt i ever will be. but i guess i'm just bored of the daily routine that happens every darn day. of course milestones in the last month or so that i haven't blogged include stuff like the two essays i've finished, the leeds-warwick pub crawl, army daze, etc. and other stuff but really i can't think now ):

i'm just looking forward to the last few days before term ends and the partying for five weeks begins (: i really can't wait for easter break to come, because i know i have a ton of eggciting things lined up plus i have quite a bit of studying to get down to. it's taylor swift next tuesday and next thursday we're heading down to london to fly out to germany on friday and then there is that mini eurotrip (covering 4 cities and 3 countries) for about one and a half weeks before we're back to uk, and then a short mugging break before another week in sunny ibiza, spain (:

eggcite (: